day 15: outsourcing
“Avoid using cigarettes, alcohol, or drugs
as alternatives to being an interesting person.”
–Marilyn vos Savant
Have you ever heard someone talk about alcohol as ’personality in a bottle’? Or say that they are more funny, or better at flirting or dancing when they are drunk? That’s outsourcing.
We are attributing the positive effect that we feel inside to something outside of us. With cannabis, it is less common, but still happens plenty. We act like it is the alcohol that knows the jokes or the dance moves. We act is if a substance miraculously grants us previously absent skills. That’s not what happens.
When someone describes a substance as making them feel “whole”, “loved” or “comfortable in my skin”- those are flags for addiction. It does not mean they are guaranteed to have a problem, but as humans, if that’s the only time they feel good, they are going to want to do it all the time.
In a less intense way, when someone feels like a substance makes them a better version of themselves (insert ‘happy’, ‘relaxed’, ‘funnier’, etc.) then they are likely to want to use that drug for those reasons. This is something worth paying attention to in ourselves.
The problem with outsourcing is that the drug gets all the credit. We end up thinking that alcohol made us funny, or cannabis made us insightful. We think that we are better off altered and it diminishes our self-worth.
But those are your jokes, your thoughts, and your dance moves. The substance just gave you an excuse (and therefore, the confidence) to try them. You deserve the credit. Own what’s yours. Stop outsourcing.