21 day debate journey from Vermont to Missouri to Serbia to Slovenia and back to Vermont, January, 2003
| Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight | Part Nine | Part Ten |
PART FIVE: THE BELGRADE OPEN
JANUARY10, 2003
BELGRADE OPEN DAY 1
I awoke late. I had told Jen and Brian I would meet
them at breakfast and I had not. I reluctantly put on my previously worn clothes
and went down to the lobby to see what was happening. As I walked into the small
restaurant where hotel guests could have breakfast I saw Kate Shuster and John
Meany, two of my close friends. I had first met Kate as a debater for Emory,
and had since known her as a coach, debate teacher, founder of the Seattle Debate
Foundation, lecturer at the World Debate Institute in Vermont, as administrator
for the program last year, and now as the outreach coordinator for debate at
the Claremont Colleges. I had first met John much earlier in 1974 when I judged
him in a debate at Brandeis University. I went on to coach him at Boston College,
and now we have been close friends and colleagues for 30 years. He and I taught
together at the Georgetown summer debate institute for ten years and now at
the World Debate Institute for 20 years. His son, Jake, is now on my debate
team at the University of Vermont. It is that sort of thing that makes one feel
old in this strange activity called debate.
The front desk found that our bags were in Munich and
that they would be in Belgrade at about noon. JAT promised they would be delivered
at about 2 PM. That was good news.
It turned out that Brian and Jen had gone on the bus
tour of the city with all of the other debaters, so that was a comfort to me.
I thought of them and started quizzing John, Kate, Bojana, and others about
the tournament and how it would be run.
Lunch had been scheduled for everyone at a restaurant
near the Faculty of Law called Domovina. We decided to go there and await the
arrival of the others. When we got there lunch was already in session and we
found a table. I saw Brian and Jen and told them about our luggage, and they
were pleased. The weather was cold and the snow deep, and BrianÕs winter coat
was packed in his lost bag. He was suffering but was holding up well. They both
seemed to be making friends quickly.
I saw many old friends at Domovina, including Badjo
from 1997, Mila Turajlic (whom I have worked with extensively, including at
last summer's World Debate Institute), and with great happiness Sonja Stojakovic
(pardon my spelling) who I had not seen since 1997. Then she had been a high
school debater, and now she was a major organizer of the tournament and of debate
in Serbia. These would be the first of many happy meetings to come.
As lunch ended Jen, Brian, and I decided to walk back
to the hotel (in the cold and the still deep snow) to see about our luggage.
We had two problems. First, we could not find the hotel, so we walked around
and around getting colder and more frustrated. We did finally find it. The second
problem was that our luggage was not there, and would not be delivered in the
foreseeable future (for some reason I could not determine). So, still in our
very dirty and now fairly aromatic garb we headed back to the tournament, and
arrived shivvering and breathless as the motion for the first round was announced.
This was my first real opportunity to be a parliamentary
debate coach. The fifteen minutes before the debate arte just about the most
intensive coaching minutes I have ever experienced. We wrote down the motion
and then had a meeting about it. Unfortunately, all three of us wrote the motion
down incorrectly. John actually was the judge of the debate and said they did
a very nice job, but they lost.
Meanwhile, I judged the debate. At first I was confused
that the motion was different, but I decided that since both teams agreed on
what it was, I might as well go along. They were correct. I had a hard time
concentrating, since jet lag and lack of sleep was really bothering me by now.
I even called on the wrong speaker, but they corrected me. They must have been
thinking, What kind of judge is this guy, he doesn't even know the order of
the speeches, I did the best I could and announced the decision after which
I offered my bumbling critique, but they seemed to like it and were satisfied.
Well, now it was time to try round two. Brian and Jen
seemed very tired and upset at still wearing the same clothes they had started
out wearing in the USA some days before, but like all LDU debaters, they seemed
in good spirits in the face of adversity. The second motion came out, we strategized,
and then off they went to debate while I judged. I think we all did a little
better this time, but they lost again.
As things were winding down Dragan told us that our
luggage was at the airport but that we would have to drive and get it, all three
of us. He offered to give us a lift and we accepted. We had a nice drive with
him, full of interesting conversation, and soon we were back in the hotel with
our luggage, at last.
It was time for dinner at the hotel so we joined in
and had a nice hot meal. Jen and Brian vanished soon thereafter to use their
luggage, and I did as well. I wanted to stay and talk with so many people I
had not seen in quite a while, but I was very tired and very dirty. I went up
to my room, took a hot shower, put some clean garb next to my skin, and went
to sleep. It felt good.
Just before I slipped into a blissful sleep I realized
that I was 10 days into a 21-day adventure.
JANUARY 11, 2003
BELGRADE OPEN DAY 2
I awakened and finally felt more refreshed, as if the
travel difficulties had finally been washed away. I went down to breakfast and
had the usual. At the Hotel Excelsior the breakfast consists of a choice between
tea, espresso coffee, cappuccino, or Turkish coffee as well as juice, fresh
bread along with spreads. You can also ask for things such as fried eggs, poached
eggs, or cheese omelet. As usual, I took the cheese omelet. They really devoted
to drinking coffee in the former Yugoslavia. Not that the rest of Europe (or
America for that matter) isnÕt, but in these Balkan nations are especially focused
on the morning caffeine injection. The coffee in Europe is stronger (and thus
less total liquid) than in America, and also is not served as hot as it is in
the states.
Jen and Brian seemed very refreshed as well and ready
for the challenge of trying to win their first parliamentary debate. We headed
over to the Faculty of Law with a happy determination.
| Waiting for the pairings and the motion | John Meany and Noel Selegzi |
There are few motions that I personally feel are very
balanced between the two sides expressed. This is not the fault of the motions
but with my thought process, I am sure. However, I am usually able to come up
with a strategy that I (if not my debaters) am comfortable with. Of course,
the debaters have the final say on strategy. I have ideas, and they should listen
to then, but they have to choose the strategy they wish to use. Free speech
is alive and well in the LDU. I say this because we had to, in this debate,
support the World Trade Organization and say that it benefited developing nations.
Politically correct me dislikes the term ŅdevelopingÓ but I know what the writers
of the motion were probably thinking of. Both Brian and Jen are very suspicious
of the WTO, but we arrived at a strategy together that indicated the WTO would
benefit these nations if the free trade obligations were reciprocal, in that
overdeveloped nations refuse to really open their markets for products from
the majority world while demanding that their markets be open for their products.
They went off to debate and I went off to judge. I
was a far better judge after having gotten some sleep and in some clean clothing,
and apparently Jen and Brian were better as well because they won round three.
Round four was announced and the motion revealed. We
seemed to be on the right side of the motion this time, and we quickly devised
a strategy that they felt comfortable with. They trooped off to debate and I
told them I would see them during lunch at Domovina.
I was not judging the debate and I saw that Kate and
Bojana were not judging either. We decided to go for a coffee and began looking
for one. Both of the close cafEs we saw were not open, so we wandered a bit
and found Domovina as the nearest spot, so we decided to just drink coffee and
wait for the debaters and others to arrive for lunch. A waiter greeted and seated
us and then engaged us in conversation. I knew we were in for it when he said,
"I do not like Milosevic, but" and then we were given a sample off
some of the popular opinion which has been (but fortunately now is less) prevalent
in this part of the Balkans. We were told that Serbia had fought courageously
in the old times and that if they had not stopped them the Muslims would have
conquered Europe. We were told that people in Kosovo were better off under Milosevic
(Ņthey had electricity and industry thenÉÓ) and then began a discussion of Muslim
culture that shocked all of us. I wonÕt repeat the details but I was pleased
that all of us kept our cool and just tried to end the conversation by turning
our focus to what we wanted to drink and he finally left us. It was good to
avoid angry retorts from us (and I was ready with them, even if they might not
have changed his perspective), but on the other hand I was concerned that he
might have left our conversation thinking that we agreed with him. It was a
no-win situation, but it was over. The three of us had a very enjoyable conversation
and Kate talked about the Poetry Slam coming up that night and that she would
be visiting the venue (mesto) after lunch.
The debaters, judges, coaches, and organizers arrived
for lunch and Jen and Brian seemed happy with their performance and told me
that they had won. This would be the last round in which the judges were allowed
to reveal their decisions, as the tournament invitation asked judges not to
reveal in rounds five and six.
The lunch was good and the fellowship excellent. I
saw Badjo again and I made the association Š every time I see Badjo we are eating.
I told him that I would soon be like one of PavlovÕs dogs, salivating every
time I saw him. He and I had met in Jabuka (means apple) in 1997 at the national
debate camp there, and he had been a good friend to us on that trip, and he
and Jan Hovden seemed to become good friends. I updated him about her and he
said to say hello.
| Brian, Kate Shuster, Jen | Bojana Skrt & Branka Josimov |
We trooped back to the Faculty of Law for round five.
The motion was that Jerusalem should be the capital of a Palestinian state and
we were in opposition. We were against Claremont, John Meany's team, and that
concerned me. From what I knew they were the best team at the tournament, and
it seemed a shame to meet them in a 2-2 debate, but in the LDU we love a challenge.
Our 15-minute preparation went very well and they trooped off to debate. I stayed
in the amphitheater to work on my journal during the debate. When they returned
they seemed very pleased with how the debate had gone, and had a lot of praise
for the Claremont debaters (Jenny and Brenda-n). They were particularly happy
at how our strategy had worked, and they even thought they might have won. As
it turned out they did win. It may have happened to them, but it certainly happened
to me when I was a debater, that the best competition can bring out the best
in you. Of course, the reverse of that is that often a mediocre team can drag
you down, and in my experience that is the thing that really needs to be avoided.
In this case the excellence of Jenny and Brenda-n improved the performance of
Brian and Jen.
Now it was time for the last debate. If we had won
the Claremont debate we would qualify for the quarterfinals if we won round
six. The motion was good, the judge was excellent (Mila Turajlic Š extremely
able and fair Š but the team was a challenge, the national champions from Kazakhstan,
two I had judged earlier. Very skilled and very friendly, I really like these
two young men. We seemed happy about our strategy and they went off to debate.
I remained to work on my journal.
The students came back from the debate in a very positive
state. They said that the strategy seemed to go well, that they had performed
well, and that their opponents had been good as well. They were very hopeful
that they would win and, if they had defeated Claremont, would move into the
quarterfinals.
The announcement of breaks came very quickly, and Jen
and Brian were not among them. They had defeated Claremont but had lost to Kazakhstan.
Mile explained the decision to them and I have all the trust in the world in
her judgment. Hey, you canÕt expect to reach the elimination rounds in your
very first tournament in a format you have never done before, can you? Well,
you can hope, but it may not happen.
We quickly left and headed back to the hotel. I got
a message from my close friend Tomislav Kargacin about him coming to visit on
the next day and I was very excited about it. I met up with Kate who reported
on her visit to the venue for the upcoming Poetry Slam. She was very excited
about it, saying it was in the basement of a 24-hour bookstore and had all the
necessities Š stage, sound system, good seating, and a bar with coffee and drinks.
Dinner was good, as usual. Dinner at the Hotel Excelsior for a group like this
would usually consist of bread, soup (Serbian soups are very good, especially
the mushroom soup), main dish (meat, sauce, potatoes), vegetables (fresh or
at times, pickled or sautˇed) and an excellent sweet finishing for the meal,
often something I was not familiar with but enjoyed. I have been on a fairly
strict meal regimen for the last two years (not a diet, but a change in eating
habits, and I have lost about 60 pounds and feel a lot better) but when I engage
in international travel I generally eat whatever is served to me and enjoy it.
It was becoming clear that this trip might add a few pounds and require a bit
of extra time in the gym when I return. The other thing about dinner at the
hotel is that you can order beer, wine, or liquor and pay for just that. The
registration fee for the tournament covered all food, housing, and local transportation.
The bar had a good selection of drinks, but I usually enjoyed the Serbian brandy
(Schleibovitze, pardon my spelling) because it is always different and unique.
Although it is possible to eat at American fast food outlets all over the world,
I dislike them in America and I canÕt imagine frequenting them outside of the
states.
After dinner I spent some time socializing with tournament
organizers, international debaters, as well as international coaches. While
many were taking taxis to the venue for the Poetry Slam we decided to walk,
even though it was very cold and a bit slushy. The intrepid Sonja led the way,
as usual. She has tremendous leadership characteristics and I hope later when
she is famous people will remember that I predicted it!
As we walked along the central pedestrian-only street
in Belgrade I noticed how it had changed since my last visit -- not much. The
brand names in the stores and the names of the stores had changed somewhat,
but it had the vibrancy and color I had so enjoyed in a previous visit.
We arrived at the bookstore where the Poetry Slam was
to take place and Kate and John were there organizing things. People were gathering.
I volunteered to read a poem by William S. Burroughs if Kate needed me, and
she said she did.
| At the poetry slam | Poetry in Serbo-Croatian |
A poetry slam works like this. The poet had three minutes
in which to read original work. Then, judges selected out of the audience hold
up cards to give that reading a point value, which is then added and becomes
their score. In this case there were three poets in the competition. After each
went twice, the two would advance to a final, producing a winner.
Kate wanted to warm thee audience up a bit. She asked
me to start, and I did, reading "No more Stalins, no more Hitlers"
by William S. Burroughs and dedicating it to George W. Bush. I also got a chance
to talk about my feelings concerning the bombing of Serbia, and that fact that
it took the lives of friends.
| Kate Shuster readers her work | Brenda-n reads his work |
| Luka performs | Haris performs |
Then Kate read a poem of hers about living in California.
This was followed by a poem in Serbian read by someone whose name I did not
record (a debater) but it got a great response, evoking a lot of laughter.
Now it was time for the competition. The poets were
Luka from Lithuania (I believe), Haris from Bosnia-Herzegovina (once again,
I believe) and Branda-n from Claremont. The audience greeted the first round
warmly, and there was a considerable amount of applause and/or booing for the
scores of the judges, and the scores often disagreed in their evaluations (sounds
like debating). I really enjoyed the work of all three. Luka and Brenda-n advanced
to the final. Brenda-n eventually emerged as the victor to a round of applause
and Kate presented suitable awards. Kate did a very nice job of being MC for
the show. Then came music and drinking. The first annual Belgrade Open Poetry
Slam had been a success.
The
jolly partying continued and I found myself with Branka, Zoritza, Djordje, and
Bojana. As the crowd began to thin out the bartender and manager offered to
provide us with free drinks. The business had been good and they had made some
good money that night, so they were willing to share. I had probably had enough
but was willing to celebrate their good fortune with them.
But, it was time to go, getting late (about 2:30 AM),
so we divided up into two taxis and made our way back to the hotel. I had no
problem falling asleep after my adventures!
JANUARY 12, 2003
BELGRADE OPEN DAY 3
I arose a bit late, as might have anyone who was out
so late with the Serbian debate posse (and other former Yugoslavian allies).
And, for those of you whop think I am always a debate #1 kind of guy, I must
confess that I arose so late that I missed my quarterfinal judging assignment.
As I poured warm water over my head in an attempt to wake up, I promised that
I would apologize.
I went downstairs and was too late for breakfast, so
I just told them to serve me and I would pay for it. I enjoyed a leisurely breakfast
and a strong cup of coffee (trying to maintain my no caffeine habit, but this
trip is making that difficult). I relaxed and just mulled over the events of
the recent days. I also thought about the 75,000 or so USA troops that were
on their way to the Persian Gulf and that didnÕt make me very cheerful.
I went back to my room to await my visit from Tomislav,
and almost immediately the phone rang and I went down to the lobby to meet him.
We embraced happily and then went into the restaurant to visit and catch up.
Tomislav is the first Serb I ever met who really loved
debate. It has been so long now that I hardly remember, but it seems to me that
it was in the summer of 1996. Tomislav Kargacin, intellectual, brigand, anarchist,
and my future beloved friend, showed up that summer at the World Debate Institute.
I had made arrangements with debate organizer Vedran Vucic to host one of his
coaches at WDI and Tomislav was the one. I was nor sure when he would be arriving
nor was he sure of how to arrive. He had landed in Burlington with no idea of
where to go and had checked in to the Sheraton not far from campus. Then, the
next morning, he had wandered around campus until he found me. At the time I
told him that all of the parts of our program were open to him, and that he
should just move around and observe things and then after he had his bearings
he could decide how he wanted to proceed from there. Because Vedran had said
that Tomislav was a very serious scholar, I told him that he had all privileges
at our library and that he should feel free to photocopy anything he wanted
at our expense. His eyes lit up like fireworks in the night and one of my most
important friendships had begun.
Since them Tomislav and I have been together in many
different settings. He has been a faculty member at WDI several times, we have
taught together at Serbian debate camps, he came to Vermont for a month and
was part of our debate team (meetings, tournaments, judging, research assignments,
practice debates, etc.), I have been a guest in his home (and sampled his spicy
Hungarian cooking), we have ridden crowded buses together across the plains
of Voivodina, I have hosted him in my home, we have been on conference panels
together, we have shared brandy on my porch, we have met at distant locations
(like Budapest and Prague) because we canÕt afford to miss each other when we
are on the same continent, we have known victory and accomplishment together,
I have a drawing in my home made by his daughter Andreja, and we have known
tears and pain over some of the tragedies of life, both personal and professional.
There are few people in debate I feel as close to as Tomislav. He can be earthy
and grassroots in one moment, and then in the next taking notes on what I am
saying but doing it in Sanskrit.
Tomislav and I spent most of the rest of the day talking
and sharing. Various people drifted in and out of our conversations, but we
remained the hub. We spoke about our other friends, about his current teaching
job, and about the challenges that single fathers face. I cherish all my time
with Tomislav.
John Meany and Kate Shuster joined us. Kate was on
her way back home to deal with her massive debate outreach efforts, but John
would be staying an extra day as he and I would do some seminar work the next
day for the tournament hosts and interested students. Since all of us are very
involved in WDI we did some talking and planning, and of course Kate and John
had their six page single spaced typewritten suggestions and comments burned
onto a mini-CD for me. They really know how to get under the skin of s gadget-guy
like me, what with their keychain hared drives and all. For those of you who
know me this mighty seem hard to believe, but with all of Kate and JohnÕs criticisms
and all of their suggestions I was in absolute agreement. I am a bit stubborn
and donÕt always take criticism well, nor are Kate and John the kind of people
who soft sell their criticisms, but their insights were excellent and their
suggestions very constructive. I treasure such friends.
Kate was on her way and John was preparing to move
to a better hotel (his story was that he had free nights at any Hyatt worldwide
and needed to use them before February) but Tomislav and I continued to chat.
The time rolled by and before I knew it the time for the final round was approaching,
and I was scheduled to be one of the judges. Since the final was taking place
in the national parliament building and some big shots would be there, I was
expected to change into my finest, so we went upstairs while I wriggled into
my most conservative suit and even put on my money tie. I have several kinds
of ties (although I prefer no necktie at all): my student tie, which features
great colors and lovely fish swimming around; my media tie, a Jerry Garcia design
with rich red and dark blues; and my money tie, used for my most important sessions,
and selected for me by Kyung-ja Lee, who was then head of Korean Broadcasting
during my debate visit there and took pity on me because of my color deficient
sight and helped me select a proper tie (Koreans really know style, or at least
Dr. Lee certainly does). If I need a fourth tie I have another Garcia or one
purchased for me in Chile by Lila Diaz, gifted poet and writer who felt sorry
for me when I lost my luggage in Santiago and helped me select an alternate
kit.
| In the halls of parliament before the debate |
After all debate had been through in Serbia and the
former Yugoslavia this was an amazing moment. The first debate camp had been
held a few miles from where forces would paint over their insignia, liquor up
the troops, and cross into battle in Bosnia and Croatia. Coaches talked about having to stay on
the move because there were orders to draft them into the army first. The Soros
Foundation had been banned for its support of open society activities. I had
been followed by the secret police during my early visits. Students had been
removed from the debate camp by others, either parents angry that they were
consorting with other ethnic groups or parents disturbed by what they child
was learning and came to pick them up, with the next stop being army induction.
Informers had attended debate meetings to discover what criticisms of the government
were being hatched. Thugs would start fights during debates so that it could
be argued that they were dangerous and should not be held. Debaters were accused
in the press of being CIA operatives trying to destabilize the country. Debates
about the most difficult topics (de-Nazification of Serbia, responsibility for
ethnic cleansing, free press) had been held amidst opposition and harassment.
Professors who supported debate had refused to sign loyalty oaths and held their
classes in the streets. Debaters had started newspapers and participated in
the under siege free media like B92 radio. On that fateful day, October 5, debaters
had confronted guards at the doors to the parliament building with a non-stop
barrage of rhetoric until, later in the day, the guards had handed their helmets
and their shock batons to the students and melted away, and the regime of Milosevic
had fallen because when the police and army will not shoot the people who protest
the dictatorship cannot last. Many nations have struggled to create space for
debate, but I know of none where the struggle was longer and more difficult
than in Serbia and other parts of the former Yugoslavia. And yet, I had never
been to a place or met people who were more determined to create a debate culture.
Tonight would be a night of pride and accomplishment.
| Mila and Zeca, tournament organizers | Author with Tiana Mandlich, early
debate pioneer in Balkans |
The final rounds, in both the open division and in
the English as a foreign language division, would be held in the chambers of
the parliament. The open final would be addressed by four people who were, indeed,
an odd assortment given the history of debate in Belgrade and Serbia. The minister
of education would speak, the heroic academic Dr. Turajlic (an inspiration to
all during the freedom struggle), the president of the NPDA Tom Kuster of the
USA, and tournament organizer Mila Turajlic, former top speaker at European
Universities Debate Championship. Wow. All together in the national parliament
chamber to witness -- a debate!
I wandered the marble halls before the debate started
and felt a sense of wonder. I met old friends and talked of the old days. I
stood transfixed in the parliament chamber and took photos. This was really
happening.
| Author in spot where Milosevic spoke | Bojana Skrt & John Meany |
As the proceedings began I took my seat with the other
judges. Mila welcomed us. The minister of education spoke glowingly about the
role of debate in a free society; Dr. Turajlic spoke in an inspirational tone,
mixing her praise with her sharp criticism of governments and NGOs alike, showing
a commitment to the critical process even in a moment of celebration. Tom Kuster
welcomed us on behalf of the NPDA and thanked tournament NPDA organizer Bob
Trapp. The debaters were introduced, Azusa Pacific and Willamette. The motion
was announced, that international justice is neither.
The debate was fine and I enjoyed it. The speaking
talents of both teams were impressive. I would have done the argumentation a
little differently, but that is always true. Once again, it was not the result
but the process that was so important. Here we were, in the heart of what was
once a deeply rooted dictatorship, and we were having a debate about the way
the USA hold prisoners in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.
| Federal minister of education speaks to the crowd | The four debaters in
the championship round |
As soon as the debate was over the judges retired to
a separate chamber. Some wanted to consult, but I urged that we all make our
own decision and then just count the ballots. We did just that, and then had
a little chat about the debate. It was 4-1 for the government, Azusa Pacific.
The awards had already started so we went back to the chamber. The decision
was announced, the cameras clicked, and the proceedings came to an end. These
scenes will always burn bright in my memory as a beacon of hope. As I told my
close Serbian friends later that night as I hugged them, Milosevic is in jail,
and we are having a major international debate tournament in Belgrade and the
final round in the parliament chamber. Yes, there is hope for progress in an
often dark and discouraging world. I will tell this story again, but only in
the darkest moments when it is most needed.
I dashed back to the hotel to change clothes before
coming back to the bus that would take us to the final celebratory dinner. It
was in a fine restaurant in Skaldalija, the club and party part of town I had
come to appreciate on previous visits. The whole crowd was there (except for
John, who later claims he fell asleep in his hotel room while changing clothes)
and I sat next to my many Serbian and other friends and celebrated what we had
done, mostly what they had done. Slobo in jail, and free debate competition
in the parliament. The loyalty oath gone from the Faculty of Law, and the classrooms
buzzing with the excitement of free debate. I had to remember those who had
not made it with us, those who had died from NATO bombs, those who had vanished
without a trace in Kosovo, those who had gone lost. We remembered them.
| Festivities after the final round | Serbian musical combo plays Balkan
(and world) greatest hits |
The food was fantastic and ample. I had been complaining
that I had not had any kaymak (a strange concoction to be spread on bread) since
coming to Belgrade, and with a wave of his hand Badjo produced some. The schleibovitze
was flowing. Music began as a combo played. The debaters began singing and chanting.
We laughed and told stories.
A John Lennon lyric came to my mind, answering so many
of the pessimists I had listened to through the years. You may say that I'm
a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I was with a lot of dreamers that night.
Nor all of our dreams can and will come true, but some of them will, and this
one did.
The debaters began to leave and head to the all-night
disco where they would boogie until the dawn. I remained behind to continue
my fellowship with so many wonderful people -- Badjo, Tomislav, Branka, Zoritza,
Djordje, Bojana, Mishko, and others. After a while they decided to move to another
part of the restaurant so that the wait staff could clean up, and acutely aware
that I had seminars to lead in the morning and all of the next day, I decided
to depart.
I hate to say good-bye. I do not really believe in
it. It probably works better for Doctor Who (he can jump in his time machine
and vanish) than it does for me, but I still prefer just to vanish. If forced
to say good-bye, I will say, "The world is too small and the future is
too big for us not to meet again." This night I did not, as I simply vanished
into the snowy evening as the group moved to a new part of the restaurant. As
I look back on it now, some days later, I know I was foolish. I should have
embraced them all, especially my dear brother Tomislav, even if I showed a tear.
But I didn't. Perhaps someday I will learn.
I walked up the snowy street alone, thinking to myself.
So many thoughts. So much behind me in 30 years of debate, so much ahead of
me in the exciting decades to come. I had no idea how to get back to the hotel.
I stopped at a taxi stand and tried to hire a car, but they said it was too
close to risk losing their spot on the taxi stand. Finally, I negotiated a good
rate with the last taxi in line and then paid the driver twice as much when
he dropped me off at the Hotel Excelsior. Before I went to sleep I watched a
bit of the BBC World News, because I know the struggle is not over, and there
are many more debate topics ahead of me.