Return to
NNFR Program & Curriculum
DirectoryThis program provides an overview of the various family structures in the United States, as well as current trends and challenges facing families. It also contains exercises that give audiences a chance to examine their own ideas about family, as well as those of others, and encourage active participation. The formatting allows facilitators to easily adapt the content for either a two- or one-hour workshop or a half-hour speech.
One-hour interactive workshop. Adapt and abbreviate the following sections: introduction, trends, family descriptions, family functions, case studies, community support, and conclusion. The materials for a two-hour workshop are also needed in this format.
Half-hour speech. Adapt and abbreviate the following sections: introduction, trends, family descriptions, family functions, and community support. Copies of "Descriptions of Families" can be used as handouts.
Before starting, make copies of "Descriptions of Families." Make copies of the survey instrument for workshop participants and make room arrangements that will facilitate discussion among the workshop participants. A chalkboard or large pad of paper and markers would be helpful for listing comments in the one- or two-hour workshops. Read all the materials prior to the session and prepare yourself by mentally thinking about people's reactions and how you will respond.
(Greet participants as they arrive and provide each person with a name tag. You may want to begin the session with introductions followed by paraphrasing the following paragraph.)
Changes in our society have had an enormous impact on one of its most important resources the family. Families in everyday living are not immune to changing economic opportunities, political agendas, social practices, and technological advances. We may have our own firsthand experiences in family living that are different from our parents' generation. Major changes in family life also are evident in television programming, newspaper and magazine features, and award-winning movies. Demographic changes within the family vividly describe the wide range of family forms. For example, both parents more frequently are in the work force than a generation ago, many children are living with one parent, and remarriage has created a vast array of stepfamily relationships. Despite their diversity, families still are important to individuals. We need information about the diversity of family structures and the challenges facing today's families to help us, our families, and communities deal with the strains of change.
Now I would like to take a few moments to ask you to complete a brief survey about families. You will be asked to respond again at the end of today's session. This information will help me evaluate this workshop. (Distribute the survey instrument and give the participants a few minutes to complete it. They are to keep it with them to complete the reverse side at the end of the session.)
We are going to start our discussion about families by talking about important trends in contemporary family life which need to be recognized. Here are some examples:
1. Mothers are working outside the home in greater numbers than ever before. Approximately 60 percent of all mothers with children below the age of six are currently in the paid labor force. Although this is an unprecedented number, we need to keep in mind that the increase of mothers in the work force comes from middle-income families. Lower-income mothers and their grandmothers and great-grandmothers are no strangers to employment outside the home. Employed mothers spend less time with their children, but the adverse effects of maternal employment are thought to be limited. The father's involvement in the family, the mother's employment status, as well as the family's total income, quality of substitute care, and the children's age, sex, and personality characteristics can impact how a mother's employment will affect the family.
2. Children are growing up in single-parent families in increasing numbers. Three-fifths of children in single-parent families are living with a separated or divorced parent, whereas about one third of the children in these families are living with a never-married parent. Other single-parent families are created by the death of a parent. Eighty-eight percent of single-parent families are headed by mothers, and they tend to have lower incomes than father-only households and two-parent families. It is important to keep in mind a family's financial situation when trying to determine the impact of a single-parent household upon children.
3. The current long-term decline in the fertility of U.S. women has bottomed out. Fertility rates have actually risen since 1986 for several reasons. First, by 1990, more women were in their thirties: 40 percent of women aged eighteen to forty-four years in 1990 versus 32 percent in 1976. Second, more of these women are giving birth, having delayed childbearing in their twenties. Now that postponed births are taking place, the fertility rate has come up again 68.8 births per 1,000 women (15-44) and 1.9 births per woman nation-wide. A third factor is high birth rates among persons moving to the United States. Babies are back. But it wouldn't be safe to assume that marriage will come back with them.
4. Some families today are choosing cohabitation over marriage. Cohabiting households can look like a family from the outside they contain a man, a woman, and children. But they generally function differently than married couples. Cohabiting couples share the housework more equitably than married couples, but they share child care less. Children usually belong to and are cared for by the woman.
5. The number of remarriages involving children has steadily grown in recent years. Four out of ten children will experience the breakup of their parents by the time they are sixteen years old and the greater part of them will become members of stepfamilies because divorced people remarry. About three quarters of divorced women and eight out of ten divorced men get married again. For the thousands of new stepfamilies that are formed each week, immediate relationship adjustments are among the many tasks to be completed.
(Take the group through the Census Bureau definitions of terms related to the family. To encourage group participation, you might recognize individual responses to the initial questions before you give the official definition.)
How do we know these trends are occurring throughout the United States? Basically the U.S. Census Bureau collects some of this information. Therefore, it is important to know the precise definitions that the Census Bureau uses for its concepts to help you avoid making mistakes in interpretation. Furthermore, data obtained by the Census Bureau based on these concepts determines policy that is developed and family support programs that are legislated.
What is a household? Let's try this true-false quiz. By the census definition, it consists of all people who live in one housing unit. A housing unit is considered as such if it has its own entrance and basic facilities. A household can be only one family, a group of unrelated individuals, or one person living alone. Most people, regardless of their marital status, live in households. Each household designates one person to be called a householder for census purposes. Although the householder is usually the person in whose name the home is owned or rented, it doesn't necessarily have to be. The person has to be fifteen years or older. Households are classified into types on the basis of the relationship of each member to the householder.
What are the two main types of households? (1) Families and (2) nonfamilies. Family household: Consists of at least two people. It is the householder and one or more other persons who is related to the householder by blood, marriage, or adoption. Nonfamily household: Consists of a householder living alone or with nonrelatives only. A person living alone in what is called a single-person household comprises 24.6 percent of nonfamily households. Two or more unrelated people living together, including unmarried couples and roommates, comprise 5.3 percent of nonfamily house-holds.
There are several types of family households. Married-couple family: A family in which the house-holder and his or her spouse are members of the same household. Married-couple families represent 55.1 percent of all households which includes a large portion of those that are blended or stepfamilies. Family householders not living with a spouse are in female householder families and male householder families, representing 15 percent of all households. These may not be single parents. For example, two sisters living together would be included.Single-parent household: Single-parent households include male householders with children and female householders with children.
Let's look at the changes that have occurred in households between 1970 and 1990. In 1970, married couples represented 70 percent of the total number of households. In 1990, that percent had dropped to 55.1 percent. In neither census year can we tell the percentage of married couples that were first-time married or remarried. However, a recent summary of vital statistics for the state of Kansas reveals that only 48.1 percent of the marriages in 1992 were first-time marriages for both partners. Another unknown with the U.S. census data is the number of families having no dwelling the homeless families. Most data about families that you see in the media come from U.S. Census Bureau publications and are for either families or households. Narrow data descriptions sometimes are used to substantiate a specific point of view. For example, if reported data indicate that a certain percentage of all families are headed by single parents, determine whether the figure was calculated on the total number of all households (family and nonfamily) or the total number of family house-holds only. It is useful to know when statistics are taken out of context or only partially presented.
Some people lament that the family in our society is disappearing. The family is dynamically present as revealed in the previous data, but it has fragmented into several types. What are some of the varied ways families can be structured? (List their answers on the poster paper.)
Here is a list of arrangements which are recognized as families in the professional literature:
(If the group is large, you may want to divide into groups to name the characteristics they connect to each family arrangement. You can record and group their answers for each family arrangement on poster paper and tape the sheets of responses around the room.)
As we think about the many types of families in our society today, it is helpful to recognize our personal thoughts and perceptions and to become aware of the stereotypes and generalizations that we may have accepted over the years. Think about one characteristic that you connect with each type of family. You might think about family customs, social customs, gender roles, religion, work ethic, education, politics, emotional expression, or finances.
Think about the reasons for the characteristic you named. Do you detect a pattern in the responses that were given? Do you feel that some family structures are more normal than others. How do divorce, remarriage, and stepfamilies impact our thinking about an "ideal" family structure in our country? Some of the characteristics that we listed may come from stereotypes. Think of the many different ways in which we form stereotypes about different types of families, especially those in which we have the least association.
How have your day-to-day life experiences affected your stereotypes? How has the mass media affected your perceptions of these different family structures? We see images all around us through the newspapers, television, and the movies that can reinforce stereotypes. Stereotypes may have partial historical validity, but they may or may not be accurate. Stereotypes happen in our minds. They lead us to have emotions which can sometimes be positive or negative. The negative emotions help us to develop prejudices. Lastly, behaviors emerge out of our feelings toward others. If we have strong prejudices, the behaviors could be discriminatory.
After break, we will talk about children and the social challenges they may encounter as a result of their family's living arrangement.
(During the break, you can pass out Families of All Kinds: A Guide for Parents.)
Stopping to think about how we honestly perceive different family types can help us to understand that all families in one category are not alike. There are many unique differences among the different family arrangements that we have discussed today. Furthermore, there is still much that we don't know about families far more than what we know. For example, we need more and better data on the challenges and outcomes of families headed by single-parent fathers, grandparents, gays, and lesbians. We need to know more about outcomes for children whose parents have joint custody. In particular, we need better information concerning cultural and racial distinctions among families. We need to know how different family types affect day-to-day interactions with each other. Therefore, families must be defined by their functions rather than by their structure.
What are the many different functions of all families regardless of their type? The family provides:
A family is defined as two or more persons who share resources, share responsibility for decisions, share values and goals, and have commitment to one another over time.
For different family living arrangements, let's think about the social challenges children and their parents may encounter. The stereotypes and characteristics that we have talked about have an effect on families and how they function. Please divide into groups and react to these case studies. Bring your comments back to the group after ten minutes.
(Make copies of the cases you choose to use. They are located at the end of the lesson. You also may consider developing your own case studies, but be sure that the audience will not recognize the families in the community by your descriptions. Give one case study to each group of four to six persons. If the audience is large, more than one group may talk about each case study. When the small groups report back, you may want to use the following questions to initiate general discussion: Were there any family types that made you feel uncomfortable or at a loss in knowing how to offer suggestions? What other reactions did you have? What types of family diversity can you identify that occur within families, i.e.types of discipline, values, beliefs, customs, visitation arrangements, care for the extended family, etc. What are some family similarities, regardless of the family's structure, i.e. need for happiness, safety, child well-being, adequate food, clothing, and shelter?
Families are experiencing vast changes in their living arrangements, and, at the same time, they are not living in isolation from their communities. Complex methods are being created by families trying to meet the demands of society. Not only has the immediate family changed, but there are other issues that present complications and often stress. One is the difficulty of first-time home ownership and home maintenance that absorbs a great amount of disposable income. Wellness and health issues can severely affect a household budget. Time is always at a premium, especially with working parents. Who is going to do the household tasks? Women and men are creating new ways to provide for children and their households while seeking to maintain nurturing environments.
However, numerous factors place children and families at risk of poverty, disease, and difficulty in adapting to changes. Many studies demonstrate that the family type does not necessarily place children at risk. It is a combination of the following factors:
Let's discuss the following questions:
What do families need from our community?
How can we seek creative solutions to ease the tension in
families and
provide support policies and community services designed to
facilitate, not obstruct, family stability?
How can each of us, as an individual, be supportive of other
families
in the community on a day-to-day basis?
As we know, family life in our country has changed dramatically in the past few decades. Families have been reshaped by high rates of teenage and nonmarital childbearing, sharp increases in the divorce rate, postponed marriage and childbearing, smaller families, single-parent families, stepfamilies, and dual-earner families. Yet as families have changed, their functions have not.
Families are fundamental to the lifeblood and strength of our world. They are the nurturers, caregivers, role models, teachers, and counselors for the next generation. The fabric of the United States and the world is woven together from many diverse ethnic and cultural family threads. Each family's unique traditions and teachings blend together to build the very foundation upon which we, as an international family, have grown and will continue to grow. As the changing world presents new and different challenges to both nations and individuals, the family's role must always be to ensure unconditional love and acceptance. We must sustain and support our families so that they can continue to survive and prosper. (Edited excerpts from Presidential Proclamation for International Year of the Family)
Before you leave, please retrieve the survey that you filled out at the beginning of the session and fill out the other side. Please leave the survey on the table. Again, thank you!
DeBord, K. Family Challenges Video Viewing Guide. Columbia, MO: University of Missouri Cooperative Extension Service, 1993.
Gottfried, A. E., and Gottfried, A. W. (Eds.). Redefining Families: Implications for Children's Development. New York: Plenum Press, 1993.
Hare, Jan. Understanding the Changing Concepts of Family: Demographics and Challenges, Extension Publication SP 55-587. Corvallis, OR: Oregon State University Extension Service, 1992.
Olson, D. H., and DeFrain, J. Marriage and the Family: Diversity and Strengths. Mountain View, CA: Mayfield Publishing Company, 1994.
Smith, C. A. Responsive Discipline: A Leader's Guide, Extension Publication GT-328. Manhattan, KS: Kansas State University Cooperative Extension Service, 1993.
U.S. Department of Agriculture. United Nations International Year of the Family 1994 Resources. Washington, D.C.: USDA Cooperative Exten-sion Service, 1994.
U.S. Department of Commerce. The Shifting Fertility Patterns of American Women, Bureau of the Census Statistical Brief. Washington, D.C.: Bureau of the Census, 1992.
Williams, D., Kerr, S., Carlson, and Raab, T. Characteristics of the Labor Force: Women in the Work Force, Including Presence of Children 1950 Through 1990: United States and Kansas, DIRECT'S Population Study Series 4. Manhattan, KS: Kansas State University Cooperative Extension Service, 1994.
Williams, D., Kerr, S., and Raab, T. Household and Family Composition: A Comparison of 1970, 1980, and 1990 for the United States and Kansas. DIRECT'S Population Study Series 3. Manhattan, KS: Kansas State University Cooperative Extension Service, 1994.
Young, R. L. Traditional and other families: How many are there really? Family Information Services Professional Resource Materials (May edition). Minneapolis, MN: Family Information Services, 1994.
Prepared by Charlotte Shoup Olsen, Ph.D., Assistant Professor/Extension Specialist-Family Systems, Kansas State University.
Thank you to the following individuals for their reviews and suggestions: Elizabeth Curry, Kathy Goodin, Mary McPhail Gray, Connie Hoch, Emily Mark, Linda Mirt, Donna Martinson, John Murray, Margaret Phillips, Gayle Price, Charles Smith, Marsha Weaver, Duane Williams, and Carol Young.
Understanding the Changing Concepts of Family: Demographics and Challenges, written by Jan Hare, Oregon State University Extension Service, was used as a primary resource for this publication.
Case Study #2 Helen and Bob are in their early sixties and are looking forward to retirement. Their adult daughter, a single parent, is having a terrible time, both financially and emotionally, raising her two children, ages four and seven. Helen and Bob agree to let the children move in with them while their daughter gets her life in order. The daughter lives in her own apartment which is just ten minutes away from Helen and Bob's home. Helen, especially, is jolted by the changes in her life since she has assumed most of the childcare responsibilities. She feels more in common with young parents at the PTO meeting than with women in her own age group. What ideas might Helen, Bob, and their adult daughter have about their family relationships, such as who should discipline the children and who should make the day-to-day decisions about the children? What suggestions might you have to help the family adjust to this new situation?
Case Study #3 Mike was divorced when his two daughters were three and eight years old. He has custody of the children. Furthermore, his ex-wife has moved out of state, leaving him the entire responsibility for raising the children. Five years have now passed. He cannot shake the notion that his family is not complete. He fantasizes how they would be a "normal" family if he could find a good woman to be a mother to his children on a daily basis. How might his thoughts about the family impact the children? What might help Mike overcome his negative feelings?
Case Study #4 Sue and Don married two years ago and have a one-year-old baby. It was the second marriage for Don, but the first marriage for Sue. Don's children, ages seven, ten, and fourteen, live with them. Sue felt that she was doing a good job being a stepparent until the baby arrived. Why does Sue feel she is somewhat inadequate since the baby arrived? What might be going through the minds of the older children? What suggestions do you have to help this family adjust to their situation?
Case Study #5 Emily's family sometimes feels uneasy in dealing with her struggles about being adopted. Emily is now fifteen and was adopted as an infant. Her adoptive parents say she should forget her past and live in the present. What might be going through Emily's mind? What might be going through the minds of Emily's family? How can you be supportive of this family situation?
Case Study #6 John and Susan recently married. Both had been married and divorced. Susan has custody of her two children, Brant, age ten, and Lindsay, age thirteen. John shares custody of his two children with his ex-wife. They are Nick, age eight, and Sarah, age eleven. John and Susan and her children live in a small three-bedroom house. When John's children come to stay with the family every other weekend, Brant and Lindsay have to shift where they sleep or where they go to relax or to be alone in order to accommodate the extra family members. Bedrooms become dormitories and the confusion creates tension for everyone. How can the family work out ways to decrease the impact of such changes and to create a stable place for each person?
Case Study #7 After Justin's father left the family, he and his mother lived together for three years. The parents had a very hostile relationship and Justin spent little time with his father. When he was 14 years old, his mother Kris remarried and the new husband Jim moved into their house. Justin resents his stepfather and is very antagonistic toward Jim. Whenever Jim attempts to discipline or give direction to Justin, he resists. What's an appropriate role for Jim to take in this stepparent situation?
Case Study #8 Ann teaches the third grade and has scheduled parent-student-teacher conferences for the first nine-weeks grade distribution. When it is time for Elizabeth's parents to arrive, two women arrive with her. Elizabeth refers to one woman as Mom and to the other woman as Marianne. Both women take an active part in discussing Elizabeth's progress. What might be going through Ann's mind? What assumptions might she have about this family situation? How might Ann respond?
Case Study #9 Teresa and Bill started living together after they finished high school. They have a son who is now five years old and is in kindergarten. They have never married and have no immediate plans to do so. How can they explain their family situation to their son?
Part I.
What is your definition of a family?
What do you consider the three most important functions of a
family?
What do you want to learn about families that are different
from your
family?
How does your community treat families differently based on
their
living arrangements?
What one thing might a community do to help families feel
supported?
Please complete this part of the survey at the completion of
the
presentation.
Part II.
What is your definition of a family?
What do you consider the three most important functions of a
family?
What did you learn about families that are different from
your family?
How does your community treat families differently based on
their
living arrangements?
What one thing might a community do to help families feel
supported?
Families have never been all alike, yet changes in family arrangements are happening in unprecedented numbers. Some children live with both parents, while many live with only one parent; others live with one biological or adoptive parent and one stepparent. Some do not live with either parent; instead, they are cared for by other relatives, foster parents, or other child-care providers.
The parents of some children are married and others are not. Some children live with adults of the same sex filling the parenting roles. Also, couples without children can be a family. There are families where the fathers are working while the mothers keep house; in others, the fathers and mothers both are working away from home. The reasons for these many different family arrangements cannot be easily explained, however we do know that the importance of families will not diminish.
This guide is written for parents to help them talk to their children about what really makes a group of people a family. It also serves to assure parents that there are many different ways to establish a happy, healthy family regardless of the family's structure.
Parents can help children understand that families are not alike in many ways. "Families of All Kinds" is specifically about family forms, although children need to understand that families also differ by economic situations, racial and cultural backgrounds, and habits and customs, to name a few.
A young boy living with his mother and stepfather often sees his biological father, who lives in the same town and is very involved in his son's upbringing. Sometimes he needs to explain to friends that his stepfather is not his "Dad."
A fifteen-year-old girl lives with her father. Her mother works 1,500 miles away and comes home only four days a month and on most holidays. The daughter sometimes has to explain to her friends that her parents are not divorced and that her mother participates by telephone in nearly all family decisions. For example, she may have to tell a teacher, "I'll have to wait until my mom is home before I can volunteer as a camp counselor."
The parents of a twelve-year-old girl have joint custody. She often needs to explain her living circumstances. "I live here with my mother during the school year, and during the summer I live on the East Coast with my father."
Another boy in a joint custody family explains, "I live one week with my mom and the next with my dad. I'll give you both of my phone numbers."
Eight-year-old twins who live in a community family explain to school friends that they are cared for by all of the adults living there.
A preteen who lives in a single-parent family explains to the Girl Scout leader that she is bringing her mother to the fathers' night banquet.
Define "family" for your children. Help your children think about what really makes a group of people a family. You can help your children recognize that a family can be defined by what people do for one another rather than by the way they are structured. Here are some ideas to help you in this discussion.
The family provides:
Single-parent families are sometimes viewed as "broken" families. It is important to emphasize that they may not be broken nor need fixing. Love and caring for each other make a family strong and whole.
When parents encourage strong bonds between family members, the children are more likely to feel secure. They are less likely to be concerned about their family's situation.
Talk to your children about the many different ways people can be a family. Children can better understand if you use examples of people they know. For instance, you might say: Jimmy's mother and father are not able to take care of him right now. For the time being, Jimmy lives with Susan and Ed, his foster parents. Sarah's parents don't live together anymore. Sarah lives with her mother and her mother's partner, Ron.
Encourage your children to ask questions. In order for children to understand what might be a complicated family situation, they need to feel comfortable asking whatever questions may be on their minds.
It is important to answer questions in a straightforward manner. For example, an eleven-year-old child might ask her father, "Why did you have to divorce Mommy and marry Elaine?" One response might be, "Your mother and I grew up to be unhappy living together. Nothing about our troubles was your fault. I now love Elaine very much and she is a part of our family. Now you have both your mom and Elaine in your life."
Let your children control the information they want to give. Children may be having a hard time embracing a new family arrangement. Patience and understanding often go a long way toward creating acceptance. If a new stepfather is about to join a single-parent family, allow your children to tell their friends about the marriage when they are ready. A family discussion about the ways your children could explain this change to friends might be helpful. For example, they could practice in your home on how it would feel to say, "My mom's getting married again. I'm going to have a new stepdad."
Recognize potential societal barriers. A complicated situation may develop when adults of the same sex live together and raise a family. Again, children can be fearful about disclosing information about their family. It is helpful for parents to provide as much support as possible for the child and, also, to respect the way the child wishes to control personal information.
Help your children to creatively describe your family. Ask your children to draw a picture of the whole family. When they are finished drawing, ask them to tell you about it. This drawing may give you a good idea about each child's view of the family. Notice the placement of figures. Who is next to whom? Is anyone left out? What are the emotions displayed by family members?
You might want to collect a few drawings from your children at different times over the course of a few months. What a child draws on a happy day may be different from what the child draws on a sad day. Be sure to let them talk about the drawing. The best interpretation comes from the child who created the drawing.
Family photo albums also may have special importance to children. Children can develop photo art by keeping their own albums or creating photo collages of the family. These photos can help them to understand the special connections among people and serve to validate their sense of family.
Drawing a map of family relationships can help your child to understand connections among immediate and extended family members. It can be fun, too! Young children live in a literal world. They need simple explanations. Giving a simple description of a very complicated family situation is not an easy task.
Here are two families who have complicated histories. Each family functions very well as a group of people who love and care for each other. Draw a map representing each of these families. Their family maps provide clear visual explanations of complicated situations.
Family No.1 When her children, Adam and Michael, were one and three years old, Paula and her husband divorced. The boys and Paula lived together as a single-parent family for twelve years. When the boys were in their teens, Paula married Larry. The boys' relationship with Larry was difficult in the beginning, but improved over the years. Two years after their marriage, Paula and Larry had a son, Jason. The older boys' biological father was an uninvolved family member. However, their paternal grandfather played an active role in their lives. Jason is now seven years old and very attached to his older brothers. He has begun asking why Adam and Michael have a different grandfather than he does. Jason's mother explained the different relationships and drew him a family map.
Family No. 2 Nick lived with his mother in New York. When he was five years old, his mother died of cancer. Because he had never known his father, he went to Kansas to live with his maternal grandmother, Anne. Nick's twenty-four-year-old Uncle Kurt still lives with Grandmother Anne. He drives Nick to school every morning because Anne cannot drive anymore. Grandmother Anne is Nick's primary parent and now has full custody of him. Uncle Kurt helps as much as he can and has agreed to assume responsibility for Nick if Grandmother Anne dies before Nick is eighteen. How would Nick's family map look?
What would your family map look like? As you can see, there is no single type of family structure in the United States, yet some children may feel that they do not belong to a real family. It is important to help children understand that what the family provides for its members is more important than the way it is structured. Children also need to know that many types of families exist in the United States. Let's take a look at some varieties of families in which children live:
MARRIED NUCLEAR FAMILIES
In these families, both adults are the biological or
adoptive parents
of the children. There are three types of married nuclear
families
depending on the employment status of the woman and man. In
the first
type, the man works outside the home while the woman works
inside the
home caring for the children. Twenty-eight percent of all
households
fit this description according to the current U.S. Census.
In the
second type of married nuclear family, the woman works
outside the
home and the man cares for the children. This constitutes 2
percent of
families in this country. In the third kind of married
nuclear family,
both the husband and the wife work outside the home or are
income
providers. In some situations, the woman might have a
home-based
business, such as a day care center. Nearly 60 percent of
women with
children under the age of six were in the work force at the
beginning
of the decade.
COHABITING FAMILIES
In this kind of family, the couple lives together but are
not legally
married. Either one or both of them are the biological or
adoptive
parents of the children.
SINGLE-PARENT FAMILIES
In this family there is only one parent in the home.
Primarily because
of high divorce rates and adults choosing not to marry, this
is
currently the fastest growing family form in America. More
than half
of all children will spend some of their lives in a
single-parent
family.Currently, 88 percent of these families are headed by
women.
STEPFAMILIES
These families are generally created by divorce and
remarriage, rather
than by the death of the mother or father. In stepfamilies,
biologically unrelated children often live in the same
household.
There are thousands of new stepfamilies being created each
week in
this country.
JOINT/SHARED-CUSTODY FAMILIES
In these families, children are legally raised by both
parents who are
not living together. Generally, the children move back and
forth
between the residences of each parent, depending on the
agreement
between the parents.
GRANDPARENT-LED FAMILIES
Sometimes children are raised by their grandparents when
their
biological parents have died or no longer can take care of
them. The
number of these families has increased by 40 percent in the
past ten
years. In addition, many grandparents take some primary
responsibility
for child care, particularly when both parents work.
FAMILIES HEADED BY ADULTS OF THE SAME SEX
Children are sometimes reared by two adults of the same sex
who live
together. For example, two sisters may be raising their
children
together in the same household. Also included in this
definition are
families where lesbian (female) or gay (male) couples are
filling
parenting roles. Most frequently, the adults bring children
from a
heterosexual relationship to these families.
FOSTER AND GROUP-HOME FAMILIES
Foster parents and institutional childcare workers often
provide a
substitute family for children referred by the courts or
government
agencies. While problems with their parents or guardians are
being
resolved, the children may live in these families.
COMMUNITY FAMILIES
A community family is a group of people who live and work
together and
share the responsibilities of raising the children. One
well-known
community family type in Israel is the kibbutz (meaning
"gathering" in
Hebrew). In some community groups, only certain adults
function in the
parent role, while in others all members of the group
participate
equally in child rearing.
COMMUTER FAMILIES
In these families, the parents live and work in different
towns or
states. One parent provides the primary residence, and the
other
parent comes home for short periods of time, such as
weekends and
holidays. The number of commuter families is growing due to
the
difficulty of finding two suitable jobs in the same vicinity
or the
need for parents to receive additional job skills
training.
Families of all kinds can help their children feel a sense of security by finding support through community groups and contacts with similar types of families. In general, it is important to consider sharing information about the family structure and living arrangements with schools, religious groups, family physicians, and children's organizations, such as Scouts or 4-H.
Professionals who work with your child need to know who to contact in an emergency. They will also find it helpful to know how your family refers to its members. For instance, in the example above, Nick calls the two adults who care for him "Grandmother Anne" and "Uncle Kurt."
In some remarried families, the mother's new husband may eventually be called "Dad" by the mother's children from her first marriage. In other remarried families, the children may call their mother's new husband by his first name, reserving the name "Dad" for their biological fathers.
This information helps others to be sensitive to the child's situation. The school should know who the responsible adults are in the child's life, especially in circumstances involving joint custody.
It is important to keep in mind that you are the judge of how you want to help teachers and other community professionals understand and interact with your children. Your values are the key to the decisions you make about your children.
Families are our greatest resource the building blocks of our society. They come in many shapes and sizes and are better defined by what family members do for each other than by the way they are structured. Families deserve to be preserved and nurtured in all their diversity.
These suggested books for children and adults illustrate numerous family-living arrangements. Check your local library for these and other books that can help you and your children discuss issues and ideas related to your family's specific situation.
What Am I Doing In A Stepfamily? Claire Berman. Lyle Stuart Inc., 1982.
Dinosaurs Divorce: A Guide for Changing Families. Laurene Krasny Brown and Marc Brown. The Atlantic Monthly Press, 1986.
Mama One, Mama Two (about a foster family). Patricia MacLachran. HarperCollins, 1982.
A Forever Family (about adoption).Roslyn Banish with Jennifer Jordan-Wong. HarperCollins Publishers, 1992.
My Real Family (about a stepfamily). Doris Sanfor. Heart to Heart, Inc., 1993.
The Kids' Book About Single-Parent Families. P. Dolmetsch and A. Shih. Doubleday, 1985.
Families: A Celebration of Diversity, Commitment, and Love. Aylette Jenness. Houghton Mifflin, 1990.
Stepkids: A Survival Guide for Teenagers in Stepfamilies. Ann Getzoff and Carolyn McClenahan. Walker and Company, 1984.
Stepfamilies Stepping Ahead: An Eight-Step Program for Successful Family Living. Stepfamily Association of America, Inc. They have many other publications on divorce, remarriage, and custody issues. To receive a catalog, contact Stepfamily Association of America, Inc., 215 Centennial Mall. S., Ste 212, Lincoln, NE 68508; telephone 1-800-735-0329.
Positive Discipline for Single Parents: A Practical Guide to Raising Children Who are Responsible. Jane Nelsen, Cheryl Erwin, and Carol Delzer. Prima, 1994.
Prepared by Charlotte Shoup Olsen, Assistant Professor/Extension Specialist-Family Systems, School of Family Studies and Human Services, Kansas State University.
Thank you to the following individuals for their reviews and suggestions: Elizabeth Curry, Kathy Goodin, Connie Hoch, Emily Mark, Linda Mirt, John Murray, Margaret Phillips, Gayle Price, Candyce Russell, Charles Smith, Marsha Weaver, and Carol Young.
Nontraditional Families: A Guide For Parents, written by Jan Hare and Lizbeth A. Gray, Oregon State University Extension Service, was used as a resource for this publication.
Publication numbers MF-1171, MF-2024. Cooperative Extension
Service,
Kansas State University, Manhattan, KS. December 1994.
Human Development and Family Relations-5 JR 12/94-3M
Issued in furtherance of Cooperative Extension Work, acts of
May 8 and
June 30, 1914, as amended. Kansas State University, County
Extension
Councils, Extension Districts, and United States Department
of
Agriculture Cooperating, Richard D. Wootton, Associate
Director. All
educational programs and materials available without
discrimination on
the basis of race, color, national origin, sex, age, or
disability.
ORIGINAL DOCUMENT INFORMATION: Charlotte Shoup Olsen, Ph.D.,
(1994/1995). Families of all kinds. Manhattan, KS: Kansas
Cooperative Extension Service.
FORMATS AVAILABLE: Print
ORDERING INFORMATION: Families of all kinds: Guide for
parents (MF-1171)@$0.55; Families of all kinds: A guide for
leaders (MF-2024)@$2.95; 100 ways to celebrate your family poster
(MF-1171a)@$0.20; Kansas Cooperative Extension Service,
Distribution
Center, 16 Umberger Hall, Manhattan, KS 66506. 913-532-5830.
FAX 913-532-6458.
COPYRIGHT PERMISSION: Charlotte Shoup Olsen, Ph.D., Kansas
Cooperative
Extension Service, School of Family Studies and Human
Services, 343
Justin Hall, Manhattan, KS 66506. 913-532-5773. FAX
913-532-6969.
Email: colsen@oz.oznet.ksu.edu
DOCUMENT POSTED BY: Samuel Chen, 103 Morrill Hall, UVM,
Burlington, VT 05405-0106. Email: nnfruvm@zoo.uvm.edu
EEO STATEMENT: Programs and activities of the Cooperative
Extension
Service are available to all potential clientele without
regard to
race, color, sex, national origin, religion, age, and
diability.
Return to
NNFR Program & Curriculum
Directory