Sis. Maneshkona-Shontae speaks out #1
December 15, 1995
I was just talking with a friend about how 1995 has turned out from January all the way to December -- and it´s been hell. It really has been. This has been a year of trials and tribulations.
I was thinking about this yesterday when people were asking, "Why are you doing this?"
I thought about a number of things. This act that I have done, this hunger strike, is not an act done alone. This has a history to it and people are not acknowledging the history. They just want to know my demands. But, you need to read the history because the history has the demands. But, the administration does not want you to see that. I looked at Roots one time and I know everybody remembers the part of Kunte Kinte where he gets a beating from the white master telling him his new name and trying to make him say his new name. While no one has physically touched me on this campus or at this point, psychologically, emotionally, spiritually, I feel that I got the "field nigger beat down" -- the beating this year.
Why did I get the "field nigger beat down" -- telling me that I need to be Toby. Many people have wanted me, by giving me the beating down, to say "Toby" -- what´s your name? Toby. I can´t do that. I can´t do that. I am almost to the point of saying Toby because they have beaten me in every way. I guess the last part is spiritually. Breaking up my ceremony, my prayer ceremony, was the end of the act of breaking up my spirit.
I just ask myself why do these people want to do this to me? Why do they want to do this to my people? Why are they trying to destroy my people? Why are they trying to kill my people? Don´t they have any compassion? Don´t they have any kind of feelings that they want to change things? Why are they trying to take out 18-20 year olds....... people who are trying to make a difference in this community. Why are they doing this to us? We are just trying to help.
I am not doing this to educate the white community. I am not doing this to be part of the diversity initiative for this university. But, if the white community wants to educate themselves because of this, that is a good thing. It is something I did not plan on. I am doing this for the ALANA community -- for the African, Latino, Asian, and Native American community here -- the students here at this school.
I need for people to understand that this is not just a drama event to get depressed. This is not just an event to get publicity at this university. This is a fight on a different level. Many people may not believe that this is so but for me this is a spiritual battle because that is where I feel I have my greatest power. Where I have the backing of many, many people before me and many, many people above me, and many, many people who are with me now.
I need for people to understand -- even if you have to read this twice -- this place has a history and before you say "It´s about Shontae´s personal opinion -- it´s about her being angry at the university" -- no, no, no, no. It´s not about that. You need to ask yourself about your institution. How many people have similar stories from where you come from? I put myself out there and put my story on email because for me the silence needs to be broken. What this university does is silence people to the point of people not wanting to act or people not being aware of issues to act on.
So you need to understand that this is definitely going to take more than 13 days. Okay? Many are worried about my physical health. Nobody asked questions throughout 1995 about how the ALANA community was doing after everything they have been through. What can I do to help? No one asked that. No one. No one outside the ALANA community asked those questions.
This hunger strike will continue over the break until January because nothing has happened. To this point (Wednesday, December 13, Day 13 of the hunger strike) I have received four phone mails from Dean Batt, a notecard from President Salmon saying that he is concerned about me and he heard I wanted to have a meeting. Yesterday I received a letter from Provost Bob Low saying he is concerned about me and he is thinking about me.
I want people to ask questions. Not many people have been asking questions. They have been asking me "What can we do?" "What can I do to support Shontae?" I know that many times I have said IT IS NOT ABOUT ME. But that is all people see on email. I need for you to understand that I represent something that is beyond me and that this process has taken 204 years at this university, founded in 1791. It takes a process of people recognizing the problem here and it is deep rooted. It can´t be solved in a week. You can´t say give me this and give me that and let´s act on it and it´s no more. Because the process takes longer. I am not only doing this for the students now. I am doing it for the students who will be here in the future because alot of students will continue to come here. But, I am doing it also, for my ancestors who have been here before this school was founded and what it took to make this school and how many native people died in that process. How many native people have been exterminated because of that.
What people can do to help and support me; to help and support the ALANA community of students -- the first question you have to ask yourself is: "How far are you willing to go?" That question needs to be answered before you say you are willing to do something. Anthony Chavez proved how far he was willing to go and it cost him more than people think it did. How far am I willing to go? I am going to take it there if they need me there. Some people may not understand what that means, but for those who do, I bow my head to you. How far am I willing to go. If they want to take me there I will meet them there.
Another thing I want to say is to the ALANA people who are here now, give homage to our ancestors. Give homage to your parents.
[This message was transcribed from an audio tape by Judy A. Ashley, at the request of Maneshkona-Shontae Praileau. There will be more to follow.]
