the diary of maneshkona, December 1, 1995
dean batt, jenni johnson, leon lawrence, president salmon, tom triton, mara saule, robert low, and douglas samuels and whoever else this message applies to whether directly or indirectly
i am one of the so called radical student activists from the ALANA (african latino asian native american) and i just want to let you know publicly that you have won the battle. i admit defeat and i will fight no longer. yes you have my word on that. i raise my white flag and ask that you all not destroy the community that we have left. while this is very, very, very difficult to write it needs to be said because there are more people dying in my community, the young ones and i can´t see this happen anymore. for those who don´t get the message by now keep on reading.
i have been here throughout spring, summer, and fall 1995. i have been home for a total of 7 days since january of this year. it is now december and i must speak my peace before the new year rise.i guess the symptoms of my illness began to show in the fall 1994 with the harrassment by uvm police in them thinking that i was smoking pot while i was praying outside my dorm.praying you say outside the dorm? yes. why? the traditional way that my people prayed was through tobacco and the pipe. that is what i was doing, but the details are not important. just know that it was a very sacred time for me as yom kimpur, Lent, or Easter.from that day i no longer prayed outside the 4 concrete prison walls of my dorm. then spring 1995, the death threats was the climax of racist acts committed against ALANA people.besides living in the dorm in which it occurred during the FBI investigations or should i say interrogations the death threats seemed a minor thing in comparison to their words and actions against the survivors.now the hot summer of ´95 where i became a regular on the evening news (please note that i worked 2 jobs and took 15 credits while this was all happening this summer.)the firing of anthony chavez was like mourning the death of a family member even though anthony did not actually perish.i have been working in the system and then chose to fight outside the system thinking i would change things. i have the honor of having the strengh, spirit, and blood of two groups of people(African and Native American) who lives have been a constant battle and struggle.i thought that i could help continue to fight. i now doubt this. but i will continue...end of the summer, angela cooke became the interim director of multicultural affairs and as expected she didn't last that long.not because she was weak but because there was a deliberate plan of action to neutralize and destroy something we have at OMA and angela was a pawn to further that mission.now we have mr.douglas samuels, a black man who many say is qualified and worthy of the position at oma, but i ask you to question this.not because i am telling you to, but ask yourself who benfits from leon lawrence(the president's diversity man and also president of black and 3rd world educators) and dean batt hand picking the interim director of oma.the alana students had someone from within oma who we wanted to be the interim director who is more qualified than doug (at least on the educational level). many people don't know this, but now people have to know especially white allies.this struggle can not happen without you, but you have to willing to listen to the community you are trying to help.it has been nearly two weeks since doug has been here and i feel death coming closer to me.i am not an irrational spastic radical militant cult follower. i am a woman of color who sees that this man is killing the alana community (at least the students).i will give him his brownie points and say that he has talked with some of the students and he talks a good game, but what the students that he talked with fail to understand that it has nothing to do with him being a good person,father, or husband.he was not chosen to be the leader for this particular community.what has he done to the black women who work here and the other women of color(as well as men of color) is display as well as act out his blatantly sexist behavior through jokes, words, innuendoes, etc.is this an attack on his character?no, because the women that he has done this to should speak out.please, begin to ask questions.
one thing that i have learned from my days at uvm is that white people need to know what is going on.i will be silent no longer and allow these people to destroy my community whether it be by dividing the students into oma activists, non-activists, troublemakers, and diversity queens and kings or telling the asian people one thing and the blacks another or making deals with some people to fry the others.please this has to stop.i am taking one last stand.this stand is powerful and yet dangerous but i feel like i have no other alternatives because everything else that i have tried has failed.
my greatest strength is my spiritual power because of many reasons. and now i chose to fight this war this way from now until...i am not promoting a takeover because there are too many ramifications for my ALANA brothers and sisters.as of today dec 1st until things change (i will not place any boundaries on where it begins because i am a member of this community and it is not my place to speak for all) i will begin a hunger strike. this will entail me not consuming the taste of any foods just juice and water.this is not a rash or sudden move, but something that i have thought about and decided it is the best way.all i ask is that
people ask questions to the names mentioned above those who are religious or spiritual pray that this is over soon support me and my people in any way that you can whether by joining me or ...
understand that this is not just student affairs matter or university business
understand that these acts mentioned above have a history and i am not the only one who has or will experience these matters
understand that this is not just happening at uvm, but since we all are here lets do something about our own backyard before critizing others
understand and learn that this is the lives of human beings who are getting abused everyday here and ask yourself would you want a to experience that everyday
understand that i know my reality as does anyone and alana people are no different respect that fact that we know what we are talking about and before you begin to help ask what you can do
thank you peace out
p.s.maneshkona is a short version of my native name.my english name
is shontae sharae praileau
