Round One:
The fight begins at a Marilyn Manson concert. Manson is playing his sub-par music at extremely loud volumes while being his normally creepy self. Fans know that he's creepy because he keeps yelling, "Look at me! I'm creeepy!!! I have discolored eyes! I'm creeepy!!!" Everyone is enjoying themselves when Ozzy Osbourne comes careening on stage driving a locomotive that he has dubbed the Crazy Train. In actuality, it's a train that Ozzy hijacked somewhere near St. Louis while immersed in a drug-induced stupor. At any rate, the train crushes Manson's band and grazes the freakish rockstar, knocking him off the stage. The crowd falls silent and the dust settles. Then Ozzy climbs out of the train, not quite realizing that he's sustained a head injury. He immediately begins a spontaneous jam that rockers tend to do (except that they don't in real life). The crowd, not quite being able to distinguish one musician from another thanks to either a lack of brain power or a multitude of drugs, begins cheering and moching as if nothing happened at all. Round One goes to Ozzy Osbourne.

Round Two:
The jam continues, and despite Marilyn Manson's best efforts to retake control of the limelight, he can't manage to upstage Ozzy. Manson licks a diseased bird, and then Ozzy bites his head off. Manson rips into a guitar solo and the Ozzy does a good one. Marilyn Manson is clearly fighting a losing battle when he comes up with a devious scheme that will bring his beloved fans back to him. Manson leaves the scene for a little bit, returning with a javelin. He sets the javelin on end, pointy side up, and then starts climbing to the highest point that he can find at the concert. While Ozzy is bursting through one of his songs, Manson dives from the lighting scaffold above the stage, and does a face plant into the javelin. Just before he succumbs to blissful unconsciousness having had his brain pierced by the javelin, Manson grins to himself, knowing that nothing could be more shocking to fans of a shock rocker than to see their idol commit such dramatic suicide.

Unfortunately, the crowd is far too oblivious to notice Manson's antics, and they only continue to cheer on Ozzy. Round Two goes to Ozzy Osbourne.

Round Three:
Manson comes to (no, he's not dead...his brain has been surgically removed and placed in his kneecap so he can be more CREEEEPY!!!) and finds that Ozzy has gone into his last song, Iron Man. Manson stumbles back onto stage to see that Ozzy brought props with him, including a machinegun, heavy boots of lead, and a great magnetic field. What's worse, Ozzy has finally noticed that Manson has been competing with him for the audience, and the drugged-out rocker waves the machinegun at Manson. Ozzy can't move, having already put on the heavy boots of lead, but one doesn't really have to chase someone down when one has an automatic weapon. Ozzy takes a couple ponderous steps toward Marilyn Manson, and the younger shock rocker suddenly finds himself full of dread. He breaks and runs as fast as he can, but goes down against a hail of metal that turns him into hamburger. The last words that he hears are, "Iron Man lives again!"