Fake Rants
Fake Rants

Since I've spent so long in academia, I've learned that many intellectual types like to stroke their own egos with mounds of bullshit, pretending there's some sort of hidden meaning in something that only they can see. There are also the types who have some sort of quasi-erotic attraction to being outraged and offended, and who dig deep for hidden meanings that can be read as racism, oppression, or the like. This section is intended as a parody of those types. If it seems I'm serious about my rants here, then it just means I'm really good about being sarcastic. Honestly.

An Open Letter to Kevin SpaceyAn Open Letter to Kevin Spacey - So he can understand why I hate him. Donkey Kong is Racist!Donkey Kong is Racist! - And if you enjoy Donkey Kong, you're racist, too!
The Life and Times of Adam WestThe Life and Times of Adam West - A biography of America's favorite son. Lord of the GayLord of the Gay - Queer Theory applied to The Lord of the Rings.
Mario is EvilMario is Evil - Nintendo's Mario is really Satan's little helper. So You Want to Have a Conversation with Me...So You Want to Have a Conversation with Me... - Here are five simple rules to make sure I don't try to light you on fire.
The Mobile Freedom UnitThe Mobile Freedom Unit - My solution to get American troops out of Iraq. Star Trek: Romantic Comedy of the DecadeStar Trek: Romantic Comedy of the Decade - He's a reckless starship captain. He's an emotionally challenged Vulcan. Can Kirk and Spock find love on their Star Trek?
Ultimate Destruction: the Hindu ConspiracyUltimate Destruction: the Hindu Conspiracy - How cow-worshippers are invading our lives through video games.

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