Round One:
In his day, Daredevil has defeated all manner of villains, including Mephisto. Satan has been watching the blind super hero and planning his ultimate demise. Unfortunately, he's never been able to make his move, and he finally swallows his pride and decides to ask the much creepier Christopher Walken for assistance. The conversation runs along a long path of grovelling and begging on the Devil's part as he has disturbed Walken's tap dancing practice. Ultimately, Christopher Walken decides to take up the Devil's offer, not because it's going to be much of a challenge, but because it might be fun to humble the man without fear. He flies away, giving a creepy jack-o-latern grin. Satan soils himself and retreats back into the bowels of Hell, praying that he hasn't inconvenienced the flying man.

Meanwhile, in Manhattan, Daredevil is beating up on some thugs and petty criminals. He gives a couple witty quips between punches and defeats the crooks with no problem in what was supposed to be the introductory moment where we show how damned cool and competent the hero is. Unfortunately, this moment of glory is overshadowed by the fact that Christopher Walken's shadow passes over the sun as he flies down next to Daredevil. Daredevil's senses are suddenly overwhelmed by the dark force in front of him, and before he even realizes what he's doing, he lashes out instinctually, trying to entangle Christopher Walken with his billy club. Unfortunately, Daredevil never watched The Prophecy and therefore hasn't learned that Christopher Walken can balance on anything. Walken hops on length of rope extending from the billy club and runs along it, giving Daredevil a few kicks for good measure. By the time that Daredevil has reeled in his club and attempts to fight with his fists, he's already been staggered almost to the point of unconsciousness. Round One goes to Christopher Walken.

Round Two:
Daredevil continues to fight valiantly, wondering what this strange feeling inside him is. Meanwhile, Christopher Walken easily avoids all of the hero's attacks, balancing on his head and tapdancing on his spine. Daredevil is about to fall when Christopher Walken decides to add the coup de gras. He leaps in front of Daredevil and grants the man his sight back. There is a moment of blinding light as Daredevil's eyes adjust to the outside world that he hasn't seen for so very long. He pulls off his cowl and squints, smiling for a moment at the beauty of the world around him. When his eyes finally adjust, he turns to thank Christopher Walken for the wonderful gift that he has been granted, but his words freeze in his throat as he realizes that it is not a gift but a curse. Because Daredevil now has the ability to see who he has been fighting, he suddenly realizes the full extent of the man's creepiness. Christopher Walken gives a big toothy grin as Daredevil screams in terror, suddenly identifying that strange feeling inside him as pure, unadulterated terror. He turns and runs for his life, but Christopher Walken easily grabs him, ending things by pulling the super hero's spine out of his body Mortal Kombat style. Round Two goes to Christopher Walken.

Round Three:
Hm. Looks like we only got two rounds out of that fight. But, considering the opponents, I'm kinda surprised that Daredevil lasted as long as he did. Round three consists of Christopher Walken sucking out Daredevil's immortal soul and placing it in a bird cage. Don't ask me how he does this, because I don't want to find out. He keeps the caged soul in his living room, poking it with a fork every once in a while when he feels bored. This continues until he finds someone else's spirit to torture. Too bad I never had him fight Dubya Bush... Round Three and the match go to Christopher Walken.