In case you haven't been following along, my favorite literary character of all time is the Incredible Hulk. One of the most interesting members of the Hulk's supporting cast is Betty Ross (later Betty Banner). The Hulk has had two movies in the last five years, with two different actresses portraying Betty. Jennifer Connelly played Betty in the 2003 Ang Lee film, and Live Tyler played her in the 2008 Louis Leterrier film. Now they fight for our amusement, which is pretty much the whole point of this section. One of these two is, in my opinion, one of the best actresses of all time. The other...isn't. I'm not going to say which is which right now, because that would skew the poll results and ruin the fun.
Round One:
Round Two:
Round Three:
Talk of the Tape:
Well...neither of the actresses got really great lines in their respective movies. Or, if they did, it's the type of quote that has to be put in context, and is therefore not a fit here.
Jennifer Connelly and Liv Tyler square off in a death match that both of them believe is just an audition for their next role. The fight begins as a melee, which gives the slight advantage to Liv Tyler, since she's taller and has a better reach. However, this advantage is nullified by the fact that it's simply very hard to dislike Jennifer Connelly. As a result, Liv ends up unconsciously pulling a lot of her punches, and Jennifer ends up knocking her down. Round One goes to Jennifer Connelly.
Jennifer Connelly uses her momentary advantage to place a paper bag over Liv Tyler's head. Now, I don't mean to imply that Liv Tyler can't act her way out of a wet bag -- she most certainly can. However, this is a DRY paper bag, which is considerably more difficult to act your way out of. Believe me, I've tried, and the only reason I didn't die of asphyxiation was because my wife Sarah knows CPR. Liv Tyler tries to act her way out of the dry paper bag, but fails. Finally, she lets loose a banshee-like shriek that disintegrates the bag entirely -- being the daughter of the frontman for Aerosmith has its advantages. Now freed, Liv looks for her foe. Jennifer Connelly, however, is nowhere to be found. Round Two goes to Jennifer Connelly, who is lurking somewhere in the shadows.
Liv Tyler was only blinded by the dry paper bag for a moment, but suddenly her opponent is nowhere to be seen. She looks vainly for Jennifer Connelly, all the while not realizing that she is actually standing right in front of her. Using her immense acting ability, Jennifer Connelly has taken on the role of an invisible woman. Having watched many of her movies, I can attest that her acting is so good that she can change the very laws of nature -- for example, she co-starred with Leonardo DiCaprio in Blood Diamond, and suddenly DiCaprio became a tolerable actor. Similarly, she has now become invisible, just because she's that damned good. Liv Tyler fails to figure this out in time. Jennifer Connelly smashes a chair over Liv's head, knocking her out and ending the fight. Round Three and the fight go to Jennifer Connelly.
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