Round One:
The fight begins when Hitler gets it into his crazy head that Gadhi is Jewish. Who the hell knows why, Hitler is just stupid like that sometimes. While Gandhi is preaching his philosophies to the masses, a group of Hitler's storm troopers walk up behind him, pistol whip him, and send him cold cocked off into La-La Land. They toss his unconscious body into a van and drive back to Berlin with it. Gandhi's followers, shocked at this act of violence, decide to sit around and passively resist the oppressive Nazi hordes. They are later firebombed into oblivion. Round One goes to Hitler, even though both fighters really just sat around and did nothing.

Round Two:
For the sake of getting involved in the fight, Hitler decides to take a hands-on approach to torturing Gandhi. I won't go in detail as to what this torture entails, but let's just say that it involves a blowtorch, a railroad spike, piano wire, and a couple rolls of duct tape. Despite the excrutiating pain, Gandhi endures it all, not raising a finger against his captor even when his thumbs are removed with a nail file (yes, that did just come out of left field, didn't it?). Unfortunately for Gandhi, his passive resistance proves useless. Hitler loves his cause, is thoroughly evil and never thinks of the morality behind what he does, and doesn't have to worry about public opinion. While the passive resistance techniques preached by Gandhi worked so well in India, Gandhi now finds out that just because something works in a struggling civilization doesn't mean that it's going to work everywhere. Round Two goes to Hitler.

Round Three:
Under the burden of torture, Mohatma Gandhi's mind eventually snaps. He flies into a rage and attacks Hitler, unleashing all of his pain and fury at the despot. Hitler is thrown aback for a moment, startled that the skinny little Indian would attack him. He falls back on his "God himself protects the fürer!" schtick, but then realizes that the little guy is kicking his ass while he sits back and does nothing. Luckily for Hitler, Gandhi is not a strong man, and therefore has trouble actually inflicting pain on Hitler. Eventually old Adolf just pulls out a gun and blows the violent pacifist away. Round Three and the match go to Hitler, and evil wins the day. Be here next time when Hitler takes on Doctor Evil in a duel of supervillains.