Of all the mighty warriors out there, there are some who just will not fall no matter what. This section is devoted to those who are just so damned good that I had to stop using them to keep things interesting.
The Champions Include:
Bruce Campbell:
Abraham Lincoln:
The Incredible Hulk:
Honorable Mention: The Cheat
Bruce Campbell
Abraham Lincoln
The Incredible Hulk
The Cheat
The Screamsheet salutes Bruce Campbell, the mightiest of the champions on the fights pages. Bruce is a self-proclaimed B-movie actor, and is the star of such excellent cult movies as The Evil Dead and Bubba Ho-Tep. He was also in several TV series, including The Adventures of Brisco County Jr., Jack of All Trades, and a guest shot on The X-Files. He made his first appearance on the page fighting Superman. It's no surprise that he won, since I don't like Supes and he has always served as the traditional fall guy for the fights page. However, he went on to face some mighty foes in the Contest of Champions, and defeated all of them soundly. After retiring undefeated, he took on a whopping one hundred foes in the Biggest Damn Fight Ever, again coming out unbeaten. Thus he was the first person to ever last the long and senseless road of the fights page and become an undefeated champion. Hail to the king indeed.
Bruce Campbell's Fights:
Superman
Christopher Walken
Adolf Hitler
The Tick
King Kong
Doctor Evil
Steve Buscemi
The Biggest Damn Fight Ever
The 16th president of the United States, Abraham Lincoln had amazing success in the arena, particularly since politicians generally get slaughtered there. Lincoln, of course, stands out for his ability to almost single-handedly hold the United States together during the Civil War. He also knew how to play congress like a fiddle. Most importantly, though, he was in the classic comic book Tales from the Bully Pulpit, where he defeats Hitler. While he didn't fight Hitler here, he did amass seven impressive victories of his own.
Abraham Lincoln's Fights:
Abraham Lincoln versus George Washington
Calvin and Hobbes versus Abraham Lincoln
Abraham Lincoln versus Al Gore
Abraham Lincoln versus the Emperor
Abraham Lincoln versus Lex Luthor
Abraham Lincoln versus Peter Griffin
Abraham Lincoln versus Chuck Norris
The Hulk is not an undefeated champion, but he has had his share of wins. Struggling early on and stumbling a couple of time, he eventually racked up seven wins, including a run in the Contest of Champions. The Hulk earned his right to be in this section at the end by defeating Darth Vader, who beat the Hulk in his first fight. While his record is hardly as spotless as Bruce Campbell's, he has matched Bruce's number of wins (barring the Biggest Damn Fight Ever), which lands him here.
The Incredible Hulk's Fights:
Darth Vader
Godzilla
Hannibal Lecter
Ryoko
Doctor Jekyll and Mister Hyde
Gollum
King Kong
Samus Aran
Darth Vader rematch
The Cheat is Strongbad's sidekick from Homestarrunner.com. He's only appeared in two fights, but managed the noteworthy feat of standing toe to toe against Bruce Campbell and fighting him to a draw -- something no one else has accomplished. Thus, with his one win and one draw in two fights, the Cheat has already achieved virtual immortality on this web site. He now serves as Bruce's sidekick, fighting evil and whatnot with the Chinned One at his side.
The Cheat's Fights:
Krypto the Super Dog
The Biggest Damn Fight Ever: Round 100