UNIVERSITY OF VERMONT
COLLEGE OF EDUCATION AND SOCIAL SERVICES
DEPARTMENT OF INTEGRATED PROFESSIONAL STUDIES
HUMAN DEVELOPMENT & FAMILY STUDIES PROGRAM
HDFS
60
THE FAMILY CONTEXT OF HUMAN
DEVELOPMENT
SPRING
2007
1:25 - 2:40 Mon & Wed
Marsh Life Sciences 235
Code # 11923
INSTRUCTOR:
GRADUATE TEACHING FELLOW:
Lawrence G. Shelton
Talia Glesner
Living/Learning Center C-150
Talia.Glesner@uvm.edu
656-2008
656-9112
Lawrence.Shelton@uvm.edu
OVERHEADS & Main
Points
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Updated 16 April 2007
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Introduction:
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HDFS 60
The Family Context of Human Development
- - - - -
Humans
Development
Families
Context
- - - -
Human Development
Human Families
Human Development in Families
Context = Environment, or Ecosystem
Family as Context for Development
Family in Context
- - - - -
Human Development
Life Span
Stages
Transitions
Domains
Biological
Cognitive
Psychosocial
Relationships
Transactions
Human Families
Partners
Parents
Biological
Adoptive/Foster
Children
Siblings
Extended family,
complex of relationships
Human Development in Families
Life Span of
Individual
Life Spans in
Relationship with each other
Over Time
Family Roles
<---> Relationships
Family as Context for Development
Family in Context
Household
Neighborhood
Community
Work
Society
History
SOME DEFINITIONS AND
ASSUMPTIONS:
HUMAN:
AN ORGANISM,
WITH SPECIFIC CHARACTERISTICS COMMON TO ALL
HUMANS
AND
INDIVIDUAL VARIATION BASED IN BIOLOGICAL/GENETIC
VARIATION.
HUMANS CHANGE BIOLOGICALLY ACROSS TIME
DUE TO GENETIC POTENTIALS AND CONTROLS
AS WE TRANSACT WITH
A CHEMICAL AND
PHYSICAL
ENVIRONMENT.
[FOOD, WATER, ACTIVITY, INJURY, DISEASE]
A HUMAN ALSO IS A LEARNING ORGANISM,
WITH A BRAIN AND SENSORY SYSTEM
THAT
GATHER AND PROCESS INFORMATION, STORE IT, ACT
ON
IT, TRANSFORM IT AND APPLY IT TO FUTURE SITUATIONS,
GRADUALLY CONSTRUCTING :
KNOWLEDGE
AND
A VIEW OF ITSELF, THE
ENVIRONMENT,
THE PAST, PRESENT, AND FUTURE,
AND
SKILLS TO ACT ADAPTIVELY AND MALADAPTIVELY TO CHANGES IN THE
ENVIRONMENT.
HUMANS ARE SOCIAL ANIMALS,
--REARED BY OTHER HUMANS,
IN FAMILIES,
--WHO SEEK AND MAINTAIN RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHER HUMANS,
--DEVELOPING EMOTIONAL REACTIONS TO AND ATTACHMENTS
TO OTHER HUMANS,
AS WELL AS TO OTHER SPECIES,
TO OTHER
ASPECTS
OF THE ENVIRONMENT, AND
TO THEIR ACTIVITIES IN THE ENVIRONMENT.
HUMANS DEVELOP THROUGH EXPERIENCE,
THROUGH THEIR TRANSACTIONS WITH OTHER PEOPLE AND
WITH
THE ENVIRONMENT.
IF DEVELOPMENT IS TRANSACTIONAL,
THEN VARIATIONS IN EXPERIENCE LEAD TO DIFFERENCES
AMONG
HUMANS, AND
VARIATION IN ENVIRONMENTS PRODUCE
DIFFERENCES
AMONG PEOPLE.
AND CONSISTENCY ACROSS ENVIRONMENTS A PERSON TRANSACTS WITH ACROSS TIME
LEADS TO LIFE STYLES, OR
TRAJECTORIES.
.STAGES AND TRANSITIONS.
THE TYPICAL WAYS OF DESCRIBING HUMAN DEVELOPMENT IN
THE BIOLOGICAL,
COGNITIVE,
PSYCHOLOGICAL, AND
INTERPERSONAL DOMAINS.
CONTEXT:
THE SET OF CIRCUMSTANCES OR FACTS THAT SURROUND A
PARTICULAR
EVENT OR SITUATION.
FOR US, HUMAN DEVELOPMENT IS THE SITUATION, THE CONTEXT SURROUNDS.
ECOLOGY--RELATIONS BETWEEN ORGANISMS AND THEIR ENVIRONMENT.
[GREEK: OIKOS= HOUSE]
[ECONOMICS=HOUSEHOLD MANAGEMENT,
FROM GREEK: OIKONOMOS=STEWARD;
FROM OIKOS=HOUSE AND
NOMOS=MANAGER]
SYSTEM: [GREEK= A WHOLE COMPOUNDED OF SEVERAL
PARTS]
SOMETHING WHOSE INTERDEPENDENT PARTS WORKING
TOGETHER
CREATE SOMETHING THAT WORKS OR FUNCTIONS DIFFERENTLY THAN ANY OF THE
PARTS
SEPARATELY COULD OR WOULD.
ECOSYSTEM: THE WHOLE CREATED BY THE RELATIONS OF ORGANISMS AND
THEIR
ENVIRONMENT.
ECOSYSTEMS ARE DEFINED BY THEIR INTERDEPENDENCE,
INTERRELATEDNESS: CHANGE ANY PART, ALL OTHERS
WILL
BE AFFECTED
HUMAN ECOLOGY: PEOPLE EXIST IN AND ARE PART OF ENVIRONMENTS, TO
WHICH
WE ADAPT.
Unit 1: Ecological Analysis
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EXERCISE
ONE: Due 29
January
• Describe two very important molar activities you engage
in.
• Explain how these two activities satisfy the criteria in
Bronfenbrenner’s definition of molar activity.
• Your explanation should convince us you understand the concept
of molar activity.
Maximum points: 5
1 or 2 pages
Criteria:
Ongoing behavior
Momentum
Meaning or intent
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EXERCISE
TWO: Due 07 February
Do either a. or b.
a. Describe two important dyads you participate in
with different
people. Then explain for each the properties of
affect, power,
and reciprocity the relations exhibit.
b. Describe one important setting in your
ecosystem. Then describe the microsystem that exists in
it.
Maximum points: 5
2or 3 pages
Criteria:
a. two different dyads; affect, power, and reciprocity for each.
b. Setting = a place. Microsystem = pattern of roles,
relations, and activities.
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EXERCISE
THREE: Due 14
February
Pick three important settings
in your mesosystem. Describe the links between
each pair of settings. How do the relationships in
Hypotheses 28, 34, 35, 36, 38, and 40 apply to these settings in your
mesosystem? Convince us you understand each hypothesis.
Maximum points: 5
2 to 4 pages
Criteria:
3 settings ---> 3 pairs [ ab, ac, bc ]
For each pair, how linked? All the ways.
6 hypotheses: apply each to one or more pair
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Assignment 4: Due 7
March
1. Describe an important event or series of related events in
your life.
2. Explain the influence the experiences described had on your
life/development.
3. Translate your
description into Bronfenbrennerian terms.
See if you can find within your description illustrations of each of
these:
• an ecological transition
• a molar activity
• a change in developmental status
• a change in a dyad
• a change in a relation
• a change in a role
• support for proposition C or F
• a change in a mesosystem
• support for four of the Hypotheses.
Elaborate on the
illustrations you find, to explain them.
Convince us you understand each concept. If you don’t find
illustrations, try choosing a different event to analyze.
This exercise should take you three to five pages, at least.
Maximum Points: 25
Due 7 March
Criteria:
Complete coverage
Accurate identification and interpretation of components
Adequate explanation of each
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Examples
Used in Review Sessions: Passages like these
will be on the Eco-Exam. They will be followed by questions such
as:
Identify the Dyads in the story. What
settings are mentioned? What happened to [a particular person]'s
mesosystem? What settings are in her exosystem? What in the
story refers to the macrosystem? And so on.
Example
1:
The mother quit her job, took her two children
out of day care, and became a full time stay home mom. After a
couple of months, she arranged a play group that met one morning a
week, with children from three other families. The group rotated
among the four homes, and the host parent[s] took responsibility for
planning and supervising activities.
Example
2:
Carlton is 18 months old. He lives
with his father and mother, both of whom feel he was “a mistake.”
Both parents feel tied down and they can’t afford to go out on
weekends. Carlton’s father works long hours at a gas station and
wants nothing more when he comes home than to eat dinner and watch
television. He ignores Carlton except to yell at him.
Carlton’s mother feels trapped and depressed. She has no friends
and sees little prospect of making any in the building where they
live. She blames Carlton and his father. She belittles
Carlton when he “causes trouble” and ignores him the rest of the time.
Example 3:
Jennie notices Ralph in the cafeteria where
they work. The third time, he comes over and asks if he can sit
with her. They chat over several lunches in the next two weeks,
and begin to look forward to seeing each other. Then Ralph
invites Jennie to go to a party with him.
After dating for six months, Jennie and Ralph
decide to live together, so when Ralph’s roommate moves out, Jennie
moves in. They rearrange the furniture to make room for the
things Jennie brought. The apartment is a bit grubby, so Jennie
cleans it thoroughly. They have fun figuring out where things go,
and planning meals together. Ralph has never cooked much, but he
loves to eat, and appreciates Jennie’s attempts to teach him to do more
than microwave.
Over the next several months, they fall into a
comfortable routine. Jennie cleans the apartment every week, and
does Ralph’s laundry when she does hers. They do the grocery
shopping together, but Jennie does most of the menu planning and
cooking.
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Assignment Five: Due 18 April
Preparation:
If you accepted and conscientiously applied Bronfenbrenner's
propositions and hypotheses, how would you raise children? What
would you do? How would you relate? What would you do to
create and maintain a developmentally facilitating microsystem for the
children you were raising? What would you do to make their
mesosystem as supportive of their development as possible?
Assignment:
Write six
[6] rules for raising children, drawing on your
understanding of the role of the family setting and its context in
children’s development. Explain
the significance of each rule and
support each rule with
your understanding of Bronfenbrenner’s scheme.
Be specific and clear and support your rules. It may help
to give
an example of what one would do in following each rule.
• This assignment should be no more than 5 pages in length,
typed, double-spaced.
• Clarity, organization, and literacy will be assumed.
• Assignments will be evaluated for application of a
Bronfenbrennerian ecological analysis.
• Talia and Larry are willing to read and respond to drafts
submitted up to April 13.
Maximum Points: 40 DUE:
April 18.
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Unit 2: The
Family
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CONSISTENT WITH BRONFENBRENNER, AND MORE
COMPLICATEDLY,
1. FAMILY IS DEFINED FROM EACH PERSON'S VIEW. JUST AS
MESOSYSTEM HAS TO BE DEFINED USING THE INDIVIDUAL AS THE REFERENCE
POINT--OTHERWISE, A SETTING MAY BE BOTH EXO AND MESO, FROM DIFFERENT
PERSPECTIVES. LIKE MESOSYSTEMS, FAMILIES OVERLAP.
SO WHO IS ONE'S FAMILY DEPENDS ON THE PERSONAL PERSPECTIVE, [THOUGH
NOT NECESSARILY PERSONAL DEFINITION,] AND
2. ONE'S FAMILY IS A DYNAMIC, FLUID GROUPING--PEOPLE COME INTO
AND OUT OF IT ACROSS TIME, AND MEMBERS BECOME FORMER MEMBERS --OR
ANCESTORS.
FAMILY OF ORIGIN,
FAMILY OF PROCREATION [what are the assumptions in
that?!?],
FAMILY OF AFFILIATION
Over time: One is embedded in the family of origin, may add a
family of affiliation, participate in a family of procreation, and
later add a family of affiliation.
Review the characteristics of
dyadic relations. From a Bronfenbrennerian perspective, think
about these questions:
1. What is love?
What are the proximal processes?
How is love expressed in a relationship? What do people who love
do?
What do they not do?
Similarity to developmental dyad?
2. What kind of romantic dyadic relationship would you like to
have?
Affect
Reciprocity
Power
Primary Dyad
Joint Activities
Increasingly complex
Transcontextual
3. What are the most common problems you and people
you know encounter in romantic relationships?
How would a develecologist interpret those?
4. Try translating all the mesosystem hypotheses into dyad
hypotheses:
Communication, trust, goal consensus, positive attitude, intersetting
knowledge [interperson knowledge], etc.
Happy Couples
Feel: Unhappy Couples Don’t Agree:
My partner is a very good listener.
We have a good balance of leisure time
spent together and separately.
We find it easy to think of things to
do together.
I am very satisfied with how we talk
to each other.
We are creative in how we handle our
differences.
Making financial decisions is not
difficult.
Our sexual relationship is satisfying
and fulfilling.
We are both equally willing to make
adjustments in the relationship.
I can share feelings and ideas with my
partner during disagreements.
My partner understands my opinions and
ideas.
Unhappy
Couples Feel:
My partner does not understand how I
feel.
Schwartz, Pepper [May/June
2002] Love is not all you need. Psychology Today,
pp. 56-58, 60-62.
What
makes for a good relationship? How do you get there?
Relationship exploration and
development: Dating.
How many ways can we apply
Bronfenbrenner to dating? And can we remove all the romance from
the process while we do it?
Two people meet, are attracted, try to
get acquainted.
What are the proximal processes involved?
Exchange:
Views of the world,
Interests, molar activities,
Developmental trajectories,
Past and current primary dyads,
Macrosystem experiences
Reciprocity, affect, power?
Enter:
Each other’s ecosystems,
Becoming transcontextual,
Testing to see if other dyadic
relations will be supportive
Are the microsystems in the other
person’s settings comfortable?
How does the partner introduce you to
and in hose settings?
Affect experienced? – others and self
Roles observed – does the partner play
different roles in other settings?
Relations – how does the other relate?
Engage in
joint activities:
Are they molar?
Assessing Power, Affect, Reciprocity
Under different conditions:
Competition, collaboration, teaching
Pleasure
Stress
Illness
With friends and family
Learning about the other, the self,
and the dyad.
Creating a joint/shared mesosystem
And a developmental trajectory
? Ecological transitions
? Proposition C
? Developmental dyad
Settings
Visiting
Occasionally sharing
Co-habiting:
Ecological transition
Sharing a setting
Choosing the setting
Creating a microsystem
Pattern of
Roles, Relations,
and Activities
Who has done it? What did you
face?
What were the problems?
Daily Rhythms
Maintenance
Chores, Responsibilities
Roles
Food
Furnishings
Choice
Arrangement
Possession
Finances
What has to be done?
Who will do it?
Mesosystem
How is the new setting connected to
other settings in each person’s ecosystem?
Who has access?
What are the assumptions?
Past experiences,
Developmental
trajectory
Decision making
Negotiation
Changes
Ending
Disagreements
Communication
and Argument
Transactional assumptions.
Stop blaming, and change the cycle.
Focus on self; change and better yourself
But also attend to the relationship:
Try to understand how the other responds in it,
And alter your behavior to make it more likely the other will/can
respond well.
Argument as a joint molar activity.
Begins with disagreement in view of the world, expectations for each
other, or _____
Meaning: very important
Intent: to resolve it
Momentum: people stay in it until it’s resolved
Can it get more complex? Yes
Can become shouting, threatening, manipulative, bullying, violent.
Can it get more complex and more
Reciprocal
Positive
Balanced?
If you have a valid view of the world and yourself, and skills,
then, on your own, you can
initiate discussion toward agreement on
how to conduct your relationship.
Marriage and civil union, but
not cohabitation:
automatic beneficiaries--inheritance
right to assets accumulated during the marriage
joint tax return
social security benefits
obligation for support for each other
and for payment of debts
And regarding children:
jointly responsible for children--permission, etc.
adopt children together
if separate/divorce, both responsible
MARRIAGE: INITIAL TASKS AND LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIPS
Wallerstein, J.
The initial tasks of marriage:
1. Consolidating separation and establishing new connection
2. Building the marital identity: Togetherness vs. autonomy
3. Establishing the sexual life of the couple
4. Establishing marriage as a zone of safety and nurturance
5. Expanding the relation to make psychological room for children
and safeguarding the private sphere of the couple
6. Establishing a relationship that is fun and interesting
7. Maintaining an idealized view incorporating reality
Klagsbrun, Francine [1985]. Married people: Staying
together in the age of divorce. New
York: Bantam.
Long-term, happy satisfying marriages:
1. Ability to change and tolerate change.
2. Ability to live with the unchangeable.
3. Assumption of permanence.
4. Trust.
5. Balance of dependencies.
6. Enjoyment of each other.
7. Shared history that is cherished.
8. Luck.
Carrere, S. & Gottman, J. M. [1999]. Predicting the
future of marriages. In E. M.
Hetherington [Ed.], Coping
with divorce, single parenting, and remarriage [pp.
3-22]. Mahwah, NJ: Errlbaum.
Types of marriages:
Stable Marriages: These all have similar patterns of
persuasion and influence
Volatile
Validating
Conflict-avoiding
Unstable Marriages: These couples have mismatched styles and are
more negative overall
Hostile
Hostile/Detached
Cascade of behavior:
Complain/Criticise
Defensive
Contemptuous
Stonewall
Trajectory of perception of
distance and isolation:
1. Flooding
2. Perception the problems are severe
3. Desire to work out problems individually rather than together
4. Creation of separate lives, spending less time together
5. Loneliness within the marriage
Trajectory of marital
dissolution
Low marital satisfaction at time 1
Low marital satisfaction at time 2
Consideration of separation or divorce
Separation
Divorce
Predicting longevity
and divorce:
Ratio of positive to negative comments
Openness to influence
How each approaches conflict -- soft or hostile
start-up
In happy, stable marriages,
husbands accept influence and
de-escalate, and wives tend to use soft start-ups
Affect:
What emotions are important?
Absence of positive affect predicts divorce.
Anger is not as bad as criticism, contempt, defensiveness, or
stonewalling.
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What is your general perception of or reaction to the world?
Positive Sentiment Override: Negative messages perceived as
neutral;
Negative Sentiment Override: Neutral messages perceived as
Negative.
When women see anger as neutral and use positive affect in response,
marriages last.
When women see anger as negative, then marriages are unstable.
Dealing with anger and criticism in a relationship: Uncle Larry
techniques:
Use of these will either strengthen relationship or get you to the
point of getting out.
1. Agree on what kind of
relationship you want, and commit to a process
for getting there.
Plan
2. Bite your tongue: don’t respond to anger or criticism
by
escalating or reciprocating.
Don’t participate in
unhealthy transaction
3. If you act stupidly, apologize immediately
[When you find yourself in a
hole, stop
digging.]
4. Stop yourself in the middle of behaving badly.
5. Stop the transaction when the other is behaving badly.
“Please talk to me as if I were
someone you loved.”
“Stop, please—this is not how we
want to relate to each
other.”
“Wait, please—let me think about
this.”
6. Re-engage positively
7. Do post-mortems on the shipwrecks.
Marriage:
The decision to marry or unite.
Wedding vows.
The
relational marriage
Roles.
The social
marriage.
Other relationships.
Other settings.
The legal marriage.
Rights, privileges and obligations
Finances. Obligation to support.
Credit, contracts, debts, insurance,
pensions, inheritance, taxes
Parentage.
Medical decisions.
From Couple to Parents
• Pregnancy changes
• Birth
Changes in setting
Role
Relations
Activities
Microsystem
Mesosystem
Parenting
• New relations.
• Proposition C: As baby develops, transactions with parent
change, and parent must adapt.
• The accomplishments, needs, challenges, and issues, tasks that
make up the baby’s development, present opportunities, challenges,
tasks, issues for the parent.
• Parent and child transactions change as the child develops, and
each stage presents different specific challenges and issues for the
parent.
• Parent has developmental history about parenting and about the
issues children present.
• So each parent and child dyad constructs a unique relation
based on the parent’s history and the issues presented by the child.
• Before the birth of the child, the parents have a dyad that has
a history, and that reflects the experience each partner has had with
couple relations in the past.
• The parent dyad has to accommodate the changes in each person
brought about by the addition of the child to the microsystem.
How the couple adapts depends on their personal skills and the dyadic
relation.
• The parent-parent dyad is also affected by the two parent-child
dyads, as each parent responds to the other parent’s response to the
child.
Galinsky:
The Six Stages of Parenthood
Constructive view, focusing on
“image”:
Image is your anticipatory view of
your world and yourself in it.
Yourself as a person, as a partner, as
a parent.
The book is about adapting to real
experience, experiencing disequilibrium when the experience doesn’t
match the image, and revising the images to be more congruent with
experience.
Transactional view.
Reality is created by relationships
that are two sided.
Proposition C: When one person
in a dyad undergoes developmental change, the other is also likely
to. What parents experience is created by the episodic
developmental change in the child.
The Image-making stage:
Images:
• Images are based on history
• Influenced by current circumstances and by culture
p. 18, reasons why people want children [Hoffman & Hoffman]
• Reconciling conflicting images
• Images can be denied
• Accepting the pregnancy, and its realities.
• Accepting the separateness of the baby
• Preparing for changes in image of self
• Images of own parents
• Images of partner
• Forming images of future roles [one’s own and the child’s]
• Nostalgia for old images
• Images of Birth, and preparing for it.
Roles and Relationships:
p., 14. Preparing for parenthood, including the changes in self,
partner, relationship, and relationships with one’s own parents.
• Beginning attachment to unborn baby.
• Accepting the pregnancy, and its realities – effect on the
couple relationship
• Accepting the separateness of the baby
• Preparing for changes in roles
• Reviewing relationships with own parents – evaluating their
effectiveness, choosing your own way to be a parent
• Evaluating relationship with partner – the other in a new,
complementary role.
• Changes in the couple relationship
• Relationship through the birth process: Coaching,
support, trust, advocacy
Themes:
Control – Loss of Control
[Power]
Separateness – Connectedness [Affect and Reciprocity]
Giving – Getting
[Reciprocity]
Independence – Dependence [Power, Role, Developmental
Status ]
Nostalgia – Impatience
[Affect]
All are about dyads, roles, and developmental status [molar activities].
The authority stage:
We’re parents, but what kind of parents?
Changes in the child precipitate and
predate the Authority Stage. First the child gains an increasing
command of the ability to communicate. . . . Children as they become
more mobile and more aware of these expanding abilities, want to try
them out, to test their prowess.
Children are moving into a wider world.
…parents confront the issue of “power”
in a way that they have probably never experienced in their lives.
Parent has the major task of accepting
this new dimension of responsibility, accepting authority over the
child. Determining the scope of authority,
communicating, then enforcing what has been established.
Parents begin to feel more separate
from their child, begin to understand the child is not an extension of
them
Images:
NO anger,
unconditional love,
being different from one’s parents,
children are always nice,
child will always stay the same,
Skills:
Establishing and enforcing limits
Understanding the child
Avoiding battles of will
Changing as the child changes
Issues:
Authority and the other parent
Mentoring the child
Child Care and Preschool
Communicating about Sexuality
Complications
for parents:
Temperament:
Chess, Thomas, & Birch
Kagan
Temperament:
Chess & Thomas, Goodness of Fit
• Creating dyadic relations that
accommodate the individual characteristics of the child,
• Allowing for more positive
affect, greater reciprocity, more balanced power, more joint molar
activities, more complex activities, and thus elevated developmental
status and human development [differentiated and valid view of the
world, and skills to operate within it].
• Goodness of fit requires the
parent to have a more differentiated and valid view of children and the
skills to adapt expectations and transactions to promote the child’s
development.
• “Poorness of fit” represents
parental demands and expectations that are incompatible with the
child’s temperament. The child can’t meet the parent’s
expectations.
Gender:
Parents are constructing their
parenting styles as they deal with authority.
Punishment: Review
Strauss
Honig: Raising
Competent Confident Children
The Interpretive Stage:
5 through Elementary school years
“Parents …. Major task is to interpret
the world to their children, and that entails not only interpreting
themselves to their children and interpreting and developing their
children’s self-concepts, but also answering their questions, providing
them access to the skills and information they need, and helping them
form values.”
“Parents find that their children’s
questions cause them to reexamine and then to test their own implicit
theories about the way things are, about the world and the way it
works. This process in and of itself changes parents.”
Interpreting oneself as a parent
Interpreting one’s children to the
children
Separating and connecting
Interpreting the world to the children
[Interpreting the child to the world]
Deciding how involved to be
Anticipating the teenage years
The
Interdependent Stage
Puberty changes the child, and forces
change in all relations and the home microsystem.
Images of timing
Images child won’t change
New potentials and skills
change transactions with parents:
Physical, cognitive, opportunities
Negotiation toward More equal power,
greater reciprocity, challenge to affect
How affect demonstrated and
interpreted changes.
New authority relationship:
Mesosystem and new dyads, new molar
activities
Settings with less parental and other
adult involvement
Problems parents understand less well
Problems parents share
Two major issues:
communication, and setting limits and giving guidance.
Intersetting knowledge:
Opportunities for communicating with
other parents about your children are fewer.
[252]
Avoiding power struggles
Issue: Parental changes
of midlife coincide with adolescent changes
Dealing with child’s sexuality.
Privacy, affection,
Dating: bringing new type of peer into
the microsystem, extending the adolescent’s mesosystem
The parental relationship: later
hours, time for parents alone, awareness of others awake and aware in
the household.
Identity: Teenager creating own
image of self, interpreting self to family and to world.
Meso/Exo/Macro/Chrono—validity
of parental view of the ecosystem challenged.
The
Departure Stage
The major task of the Departure Stage:
Parents take stock of the whole
experience of parenthood.
They have the related tasks of preparing for the departure, then adjusting their images of this event
with what actually happens, redefining
their identities as parents with grown-up children, and measuring out their accomplishments and
failures.
Early
departure Late departure
Empty Nests
Shuttle
Wild Oats and Late bloomers
Sons-in-law and Daughters-in-law
Grandchildren
Divorces
Renkl, Margaret, [2002, June/July].
Oldest, youngest, or in between. Parenting. Pp.82-86.
Birth order can affect personality.
Parents can influence the effects of birth order.
Genes produce individuality
[ e.g., temperament, intellectual style, gender ]
People in the same birth order position share some character traits,
while “the variable within each family determine the degree to which
they fulfill or defy the propensities of birth rank.”
Firstborns: natural
leaders
Full parental attention
First to each milestone
Focused and detail oriented, possible perfectionistic
“How you can help” section indicates that transactions and relations
with parents shape the role, activities, and view of the world that
experience in each position lead to.
Second-borns: Innovators
Parents differently engaged, busier
“calmer, more relaxed” [or busier, more distracted?]
More time alone, more freedom to play
Establishing difference, individuality
Competent because older model
May be competitor or show-off
Middle: Negotiators
Someone to learn from and someone to nurture [teach]
Better group skills, relate to diversity, listen, join in activities
[Flexibility]
Taken more seriously by parents without being overprotected
May have to act up to be noticed
May withdraw [ keep low profile ]
“Babies” [ Last-born
] Free Spirits
More exposure to older children, activities
Fewer responsibilities ---> fun-loving, affectionate, outgoing
May have difficulty respecting authority
May become dependent on others
Onlies
Higher achievers, more motivated, mature faster, relate well to adults
May have less peer relationship competence
Other Variables:
Sibling spacing
Gender
Special
situations:
Twins/ Triplets
-- Siblings of the same age. Unique
relationships. Reciprocity, power.
Potentially supportive, transcontextual dyad
Sibling order, spacing, and constellation:
• shape the microsystem and the relationships within it
• define the activities and roles
• define the family mesosystem
Parents create the relations, roles, expectations, activities, etc.
Each individual constructs a view of the world and skills to deal with
it from the activities, roles, and relations experienced in the family
microsystem.
Judy
Dunn, Sisters and Brothers
Chapter 5: Birth Order, Age Gap,
Gender, and Large Families
Birth order: Power,
roles, possible dyads
First borns use more power
tactics: attack, use status, bribe
Have access to and
control of resources
Bossier and more
dominant
Prefer to play with
other children than with their siblings
Use verbal
aggression
Later borns are aggressive, and attack
physically—but aren’t more hostile.
First borns influence laters more than
vice versa. Parents influence first borns. Influence in
gender roles, interests, and activities.
Age gap: Reciprocity,
roles, affect. But evidence for importance of the age gap is
quite mixed. Depends on the specifics of the family.
Large families:
Complexity of the microsystem; how many dyads are present, what roles
are likely.
Birth order is important influence on
nature of the sibling relationships in large families, but not small
families. Why?
In large families, siblings often play
mostly with each other, rather than other children, so mesosystem less
influential, and differences among children more salient.
In large families, olders often placed
in role of supervisor, disciplinarian to younger. That rarely
happens in smaller families.
Closeness, intimacy, support and
affection for siblings are not related to birth order in smaller
families.
In small families, fewer dyads, more
individual attention, more joint activities and reciprocity with adults
[parents] more involvement of adults in the activities of children,
more opportunity for individual relationships to be developmental, more
reciprocity among siblings, less need for competition over resources.
But in large families, siblings,
rather than parents, often provide sense of security. So sibling
relationships more important to sense of well-being. Siblings may
know each other better than parents know individual children.
Divorce
Not an event, but a process, with many
transitions.
Marital conflict
Parental
dyad, effect on parent-child dyads, microsystem
Separation
New setting[s],
home mesosystem, links
Negotiation
Power, affect,
reciprocity
Divorce
Binuclear family
Smaller
microsystems, fewer adult/child dyads
Dating
Re-partnering
Blended families
Ecosystem from the child’s
point of view.
Divorce:
Macrosystem Changes
Fault
No Fault
Alimony
Spousal Support
Custody
Parenting
Visitation
Parenting
Broken
Home
Divorced Family
Single Parent Family
Binuclear Family
Parental Rights
Parental Responsibilities
Best Interests of the Child
How do each of these reflect
Develecology?
Divorce
is always painful for the people involved.
The losses are to be grieved, like any other major loss.
Conflict between parents is destructive, and harmful to children's
development, whether they share a microsystem or not.
The greater the conflict and the longer it persists, the more harm it
can do.
Separation and divorce are events; they can reduce the
conflict children are exposed to. They cause disruption of the
ecosystem, but in and of themselves, they need not be harmful.
When separation and divorce are harmful to children's development, it
is typically because the resulting ecosystem does not support
development. The more common difficulties include:
• parental conflict continues;
• parents create new problems by the decisions
they make;
• children do not effectively grieve the
losses and begin to move beyond them;
• parents fail to maintain developmental dyads
with their children;
• parents and/or children construct simplistic
and/or invalid views of themselves, their families, or their ecosystems.