Day 12: Loneliness
“It’s the loneliness that’s a killer”
– Henry Samuel / Seal
Irritability, anxiety and boredom all have a complicated interplay with cannabis: it can help reduces these in the short term but makes them worse in the long term.
Loneliness is not connected in the same way. Cannabis does not directly cause or cure it. But I wanted to address loneliness here because it is so real for so many of us. Indirectly, cannabis may have helped keep loneliness away. During this tolerance break, especially at this point with the noise of irritability diminished, perhaps you are feeling loneliness creeping.
Loneliness is a hard feeling to describe. It is connected to depression, but not the same thing. Anxiety may be a fear of exposure: that we might be seen and judged. Loneliness may be a fear that no one will see who we really are, and that no one would want to.
Cannabis may help some people bond. Mostly we feel good about this. But occasionally, we start to question if anyone really knows us, or if anyone cares. Some of that may be paranoia from cannabis- you may just have been too high. But some of that is doubting the authenticity of those connections. (We will talk about ‘connection’ in Week 3.)
You are not alone. Not everything is fake. But like anyone, you could probably stand to strengthen and deepen your connections a bit more. While you're doing this t-break, is a great time. Your authenticity (in your beauty and flaws) is what makes you real to others. That is the heart of connection and the antidote to loneliness. Try and let yourself be seen.