REFLECTION

Leap of Faith

Jared S. Scherer

The roller coaster of peaks and valleys for a new student affairs professional can be confusing, daunting, exhilarating, and rewarding. The author explores these competing emotions and relates them to his preparation and experience in the Higher Education & Student Affairs (HESA) program. He also reflects on how his time in HESA has allowed him to forge new paths and create new ways of thinking about himself and his profession.

For the first three weeks of my new job at Berkeley, the end-of-the-day routine was simply that—routine. I’d shut off my computer, say goodbye to the few coworkers left at that time of night, walk towards the staff parking lot (still a novelty that has yet to wear off), climb down the staircase next to the athletic facility and descend deep into the parking garage, frantically trying to remember where I parked my car in the vast sea of spaces, fumble to find my keys, giggle with delight when I saw my car still there just where I left it, get in, start the engine and drive home.

But in that fourth week, something different began to happen. Believe me when I tell you the garage came alive. It started with one group of students, then another, then yet another. When the cars left the garage for the day and the foot traffic quieted a bit, the students emerged as if creeping out from under logs after a long hard rain. In the safe haven of shelter and relative solitude, they were dancing—mostly swing and capoeira. They were acting—Tennessee Williams and Little Shop of Horrors. They were playing sports—soccer and basketball. The garage became a soundstage, a theater, a playing field—a refuge. It was a place that welcomed them when there was no other space available on campus to go.

As the weeks progressed, the dance steps were in sync, the scenes for the plays were being blocked, and more goals were being scored on the imaginary soccer field. One group even adorned their costumes as opening night approached.

I’d stay in my car for a few minutes more each night, waiting to see how these students progressed. As I sat there, all of the activity was in a flurry around me, and the garage became livelier. I knew in an instant why I chose the field of student affairs. I am here for them. I am here to work with these amazing students to achieve their dreams and hopes. I am here to be inspired by them, to learn from them, to share with them and to become a more complete person via this professional fulfillment. These were realizations I was unable to learn in a classroom.

The transition from undergraduate to graduate student (and ultimately to a new professional) was quite abrupt and fuzzy during my first semester in HESA. Here I was as an undergraduate--a student leader, active on campus, a big fish in a small pond—being thrust into an uncertain and unknown world of office professionalism, student advising, educational development and graduate school scholarship and curriculum. The two months of vacation between my senior year of college and the first year of HESA was not nearly the time I needed to understand my role and place as a student affairs professional. AHA! one might say. That is exactly what HESA is designed to do—create a professional who contributes to the field. I didn’t quite understand this at first. But I did understand that I wasn’t the only one going through this transition. There were 12 other people—my cohort—who were with me all the way.

We were an unusually young class, most of us having graduated from our undergraduate institutions within one or two years of attending The University of Vermont (UVM). This made my adjustment a bit smoother because many of us were on the same playing field—discovering, exploring, and understanding together. We were also quite geographically diverse in location and in personality. Having attended a vast array of undergraduate institutions, we all converged on Burlington, Vermont to forge a yet unrealized rich experience ahead.

One of the areas I believe the HESA program can address are those very transition issues. For both my classmates who were professionals prior to entering the program, and for those of us who were coming directly from an undergraduate experience, graduate school was a bit intimidating and, to some extent, unsettling.

As a result of these transitions, the very real issues facing us were our mental and physical well-being. Most of us were aware of the time demands placed upon us by the HESA program, but it was sometimes very difficult to take a step back and realize what impact that would have on our personal lives. Were we eating well? Exercising? Sleeping at all? Taking time for ourselves? Taking the time to talk to someone outside of the program as a way of placing things in perspective and keeping ourselves on track? I find it a bit ironic that as I worked with the undergraduate senior class as part of my assistantship at UVM, I was advising students on these very same transition issues that I myself was grappling with.

These were questions I repeatedly asked myself and when I discovered I wasn’t the only one in my class struggling with these same issues, I was extremely relieved. My sense of isolation transformed into a sense of community and support. Maybe it was over a glass of wine, or during a trip to Montreal, but the relief finally came while engaging my classmates in conversation. Our candor with each other was refreshing and meaningful. A few of my classmates and I realized we were going through bumpy times and facing sticky issues. Underneath a facade of confidence and tranquility was a murky complexity hiding our true worries and concerns. We had the same questions and fears, and, collectively, we began to move forward, realizing how much more we had in common.

For my two years in Burlington, my classmates, professors, assistantship and practicum supervisors, and alumni helped shape and identify what was to become a unique HESA experience. People weave in and out of our lives for many reasons, and I believe that my personal web created at UVM can never be duplicated.

I suppose that each HESA class develops its own character. Ours had 13 of them. I will never forget my first week in the program. Everyone was eager to meet and begin developing the relationships destined to blossom in the next two years. On a simple car ride to a class outing, I discovered I was really going to enjoy life at UVM. I realized that we had a common ground upon which to walk. We liked to talk, tell stories, and share experiences. We laughed, discovered we had many similar questions about why we came to UVM and realized we were not alone. At the same time, we became aware of our differences and made every attempt to embrace and understand each other's opinions and views. Perhaps these were the formative stages of our personal two-year moral conversation.

With many potential student affairs professionals there is a period of uncertainty. Is this career path the best fit for me? Will I do well in the field? What is student affairs all about? To know there was a support network of people in our program to answer these questions clearly helped put my mind at ease.

The work we do as student affairs professionals is meaningful and has an impact on the students with whom we interact on a daily basis. I have a sense of confidence about our field. I have a way of articulating what it is that I do, why I love what I do, and now I have a direction in which to take it. I can attribute my ability to define and direct my future in the profession to the people I was fortunate to interact with during two short years in Vermont.

My practicum at Saint Michael’s College was undeniably rewarding and became a defining capstone experience during my HESA years. This was illuminated in a conversation I had with a remarkable undergraduate during my first two weeks at the college. As I was walking out of the student center heading to my car, one of the students I met that same day stopped to talk to me. What started out as a simple "hello" turned into one of those great moments that I will look back upon and say: "Yes, this is why I do what I do!"

Our conversation took twists and turns, circling around issues of race, sexuality, demographics—a cornucopia of student affairs-related topics. Quite remarkable to me was our conversation surrounding religion. Here I was working at a Catholic institution, yet I knew very little about Catholicism. Here she was, a practicing Catholic, yet she knew very little about Judaism. My HESA preparation enabled me to facilitate these kinds of conversations which, in turn, has allowed me to stimulate and encourage the students with whom I work to engage in similar dialogues with each other.

In that one hour conversation, I learned more about those things I always wanted to know but was afraid to ask. We found a common ground and realized we were much more alike than we were different. We took a rare opportunity to share ourselves and understand each other. We talked about our belief in God and the difference between culture, religion and spirituality. We explored where our beliefs originated and the value of religious schooling. We opened up the flood gates and let the water rush through, and it was incredibly empowering.

I was not the only one moved by this conversation; the moment touched her as well. The next day when I went back to St. Michael’s, she thanked me, unsure if the opportunity to have a conversation like that would ever have occurred elsewhere. It meant so much to her to be able to explore these issues.

I’m sure that many of us in the field of student affairs have a story like this to tell. We can all relate to the sense of fulfillment when we’ve reached out to a student who is so grateful for simple moments of quality time spent together. This is the type of connection I enjoy the most. It is a reaffirming snapshot of a once uncertain decision to enter the field of student affairs as a new professional. I am uncertain no more.

The term "new professional", designated for those who are newly employed in student affairs, carries with it considerable responsibility. Not only are we, as new professionals, representing our graduate program and the education received before it, but we are carving a niche in our new workplace. We are looked upon as having new knowledge and fresh perspectives. We are seen as the ones who will have much to offer, take the risks, work the extra hours, and be highly productive. The task and the opportunities are ours.

In a few short months, I’ve come to realize what being a HESA student has done for me both professionally and personally. The skills developed, either overtly or subtly, are such an important piece of the new professional nomenclature that will stay with me for the next few years.

In the professional realm, I understand what it means to carry out and complete projects in a timely and efficient manner. I realize the importance of maintaining control and composure and having courtesy and respect for others with whom I work. I also highly value maintaining a current knowledge of the issues in the field and sharing, learning and discussing them with my colleagues.

Another new professional responsibility is asking questions and understanding the tasks at hand. It does little good to make assumptions that could later impede the progress and outcome of your work. The other side to this is being honest with yourself in knowing and understanding your personal strengths and limitations.

As an individual, I now feel much more capable of setting personal goals and objectives. Goal setting establishes the important building blocks for what lies ahead and outlines a vision and ultimately a means for achieving these goals. Setting priorities also brings me to a future understanding of the direction in which I’m moving. I often ask myself what I hope to accomplish and where this will take me next.

A key piece to being successful as a new professional is understanding group dynamics and interpersonal relationships. I am increasingly and keenly aware of the role that I play in any group setting. Am I there to observe? Participate? Lead? Will I be called upon to accomplish certain tasks? It is vital to know when feedback, active listening and humor are appropriate.

I certainly am not purporting that I know the ins-and-outs of what it takes to be the most successful new professional. If you are just starting out or have been in the field for some time, you’ll likely come to realize there is no set outline or format to follow. However, my HESA years have shown me how to be on the cutting edge of my profession—to be well-read, continually challenge myself, never cease the learning process, and take risks for the betterment of myself and others. To me, these are the elements that lead to growth, revitalization, personal fulfillment and success.

A defining outcome of my HESA experience has been the nourishment of personal risk-taking. This intangible, yet self-defining piece of who I now am, is one that has allowed me to grow in ways I've never thought possible in the past two years. Risk-taking has added many of the ingredients to my professional boiling pot.

With their subtle, yet important influence, I have looked upon those HESA alumni who came before me. I think about where they are now in relation to where they were during their time in the HESA program. What choices have they made? Where have they landed? Is this where they thought they would be?

In conversations with HESA alumni, having been asked questions such as, "What does your heart tell you to do?" and, "Where do you feel you will have the greatest impact?" and, "What will make you most happy?" are ones not to be taken lightly. They are questions I continually repeat and tools I use to evaluate what steps I must embark upon next.

One of the most difficult personal journeys I’ve embarked upon was deciding to move to California. I struggled with leaving friends, family and loved ones behind to take a leap of faith into an uncharted territory. I didn’t know anyone, I was unsure of the path ahead, and I questioned my choice all along. But then, something clicked. I finally realized that we take risks every day. Even in the HESA program, I was taking risks on a daily basis-—mainly because I was encouraged to do so. I was warmly encouraged to develop a new event or discuss a controversial topic, because that, I discovered, is where true learning occurs. Everyone from my practicum and assistantship supervisors, to my friends and my partner were always saying, "Yes you can do it—give it a chance."

And I did. And continue to do so. And will always continue to do so. The level of support and encouragement is unparalleled in HESA. The learning that takes place as a result of introspection, self-discovery and motivation to succeed is nourished by the network of peers and colleagues who are in place to foster this type of development and constructive personal risk-taking.

For this I am immeasurably grateful and have my years in the HESA program to attribute my personal renewal. Two years ago I was as likely to move across the country as I would be to eat mealworms covered in chocolate. FYI, the sun is still shining and the worms taste great.

Jared S. Scherer ('98) currently works as a Student Group Advisor with the Office of Student Activities & Services at the University of California at Berkeley.