REVIEWER ONE

The paper submitted by Noren is a proposal of the research he plans to

undertake for his MS degree at the University of Vermont. Noren describes

his intention to use inorganic layers in New England lake cores to

identify times of increased hillslope erosion. He further explains that

the increased erosion is related to rainfall intensity, and thus his data

will be used to comment on climate changes and storm frequency throughout

the Holocene. The written proposal also explains in detail the work plan

that will be followed in order to analyze the lake cores. In that

section, Noren describes the importance of having steep hillslopes, deep

water, and streams in order to transport terrestrial sediment to the lake

bottom. Noren also describes the analytical techniques that will be used

to analyze the data (including Magnetic susceptibility, X-radiography,

visual logging, elemental analysis, and radiocarbon dating) and the

reasons for using each of these techniques.

The paper is very well organized and clearly written. I understood

exactly what Noren intends to do for his research and why. The abstract

succinctly explains both what will be done and what will be learned from

the research. The Significance of Research section thoroughly explains

what knowledge will be gained from the data obtained, and how this project

will contribute to a greater understanding of changes in paleoclimate.

The Research Plan is clear and straightforward there is no ambiguity

about what will be done for the research or why it is important to do it

that way. Figures are excellent they are well integrated into the text,

and the descriptive captions make an other wise intimidating-looking graph

such as Figure 1 easy to understand. Previous work and the literature is

streamlined into the text, making it easy to follow the importance of

referenced articles. The Expected Outcomes section could use some

elaboration. My comments in the manuscript below refer to specific

sentences that could be clarified or could use minor elaboration.

I would recommend this proposal for acceptance by the University of

Vermont MS program. The proposal indicates that Noren has a very clear

and well-structured idea of what he will be doing for his research, and

that it will work and yield informative results.

Manuscript:

1. Using what methods? You havent mentioned any methods yet.

2. Well, wouldnt increased storm frequency mean that there had to have

been a temporal and spatial coherence? I think you are really looking for

temporal and spatial coherence between large storm events that would then

mean increased storm frequency over the whole region.

3. What about de-vegetation (either from fire or from clear-cutting)? That

would produce increased erosion as well. Will you see the influence of

humans on the watersheds, or are the lakes in areas that are fairly

pristine from human interference?

4. Or de-vegetation of slopes?

5. Would remove the crossed out part of this sentence because it sounds

as if the analysis of inorganic layers in lake cores have been used as

widely as the other things you mention in this sentence (such as pollen

records, etc..). Then in the next paragraph you say "Only recently have

inorganic deposits in lacustrine sediments been used" I think it would

make more sense to just start your discussion of lacustrine sediments and

inorganic deposits there.

6. Really it is the individual storms that have been attributed to forcing

by regional and global climate patterns, not the records of those storms.

7. Mention how your studys conclusions will differ from Browns. Why do

we need your study when Brown has already completed a storm frequency

history for the Holocene? Because your study will be looking at lakes

over a much greater area, and can thus say more about climate or storm

frequency on a regional scale, rather than in one specific basin.

8. This sentence is very poorly worded it is hard to pull out the

meaning. Maybe say: I have chosen lakes that have characteristics that

closely resemble the key points listed above.

9. This sentence doesnt really say anything. HOW did you distribute the

lakes you chose, and HOW does that distribution assess climate change any

better than any other sampling of lakes. Needs further elaboration.

10. How do the initial results suggest these things. And are you really

going to get a drill rig??

REVIEWER TWO

"Assessing Holocene Climate Variability through the Terrestrial Sediment

Record in New England Lakes" a thesis proposal by Anders Noren.

This document is the proposal for Norens Masters research project. This

document includes the significance of his research, the plan with which to

accomplish the research and some background information on lake cores as

they pertain to climate change. The focus of his research is to core up

to 10 lakes in the states of NY, VT, and MA, and determine sedimentation

histories for each lake. These histories when compared to each other and

the previous cored lake (Ritterbush Pond, VT) will provide insights into

possible regional scale climatic variability or individual large-scale

storm events.

I think this proposal is in a good state considering the deadline is three

weeks away. Two or three more drafts should put this document into clear

and concise format. The author does however have to fill out and expand

the significance of research and the prelim results and expected outcome

section. A short paragraph on field methods would be beneficial to the

document. Overall the writing is clear but would be improved by avoiding

the passive voice, which is in a few places. There are only a few areas

where the writing is confusing. More explanation of Fig. 1 is necessary.

Fig. 4 could possibly be omitted. The paper does have to be fully

referenced, but I know that comes with time.

I recommend that the faculty accept this proposal after the major parts

are filled out and the problems discussed below are addressed. This is a

good start, and it has the potential to be an excellent proposal.

1) If you do lakes in New York then you should scratch the New England and

use.oh I dont knowLakes of the North Eastern, USA.

2) Is there a specific title page format?

3) passed through sounds like the sediment originated outside of the

basinhow about something likeeroded sediment from basin hillsides

4) This sentence is kind of stuck in there and hanging onto nothing.

Maybe mention something like you are going to compare your results to

Ritterbush or you are going to use the Ritterbush results in conjunction

with your results.

5) The word "This" makes me refer to the Ritterbush research not YOUR

research. Can research seek? or can it address? I think people seek.

6) I would scratch the questions and reorganize to make them statements.

7) How bout using up to 10. 5 to 10 is a big range and you already have 5

cores already!

8) Are you going to use Magnetic susep also? should you include in list?

What is elemental analysisI will keep reading to see if I read itso dont

all puffy just yet.

9) Kind of a confusing sentence..How bout something like"I will compare

intra-core and inter-core analyses to existing records of storm frequency

to determine"

10) What kind of records?

11) I read this twice and thought you were talking about anthropogenic

influences on your lake seds. You should have a lead in sentence that

spells out you are talking about the big picture.

12) Could you use a "such as ice cores, alluvial fans, pack rat middens,

etc" to let us know what some of these are

13) What kind of decay? tooth decay?

14) Can you get absolute magnitude? or just relative?

15) What kind of scientific inquiry?

16) Need some sort of transition

17) Your right this needs some work. I think the sig. of your research is

you can use an almost perfect recorder of sedimentation history in an area

that previously has no known climate change recorders except maybe pollen,

which is without its problems. You can look at the regional scale

climatic signal or lack of by coring only 10 lakes. this gives us an

indication of either large-scale climate change or maybe just periods of

frequent large, I mean very large storms. Go for the gusto in this

section. It isnt being published so make your audience believe that this

work is the shit.

18) Kind of fuzzy as you know. What do the lines on the left most thing

mean and what do the Roman Numerals mean?

19) How do we know this? Richmond pond and possibly Emerald.

20) Last year Paul did not like it when I used the word "work" He

preferred research or something more professional sounding.

21) What does water depth have to do with this?

22) If they are too steep they might be bare rock or have a very thin

venire of sediment and then it is no good. If I remember correctly when

I have traveled around the slopes of Emerald Lake there are significant

outcrops of rock on the hillslopes which might mean the sediment source is

too low to get a good record? It has been about 10 years since I hiked in

that are so maybe I have it mixed up with some other place. But this is

something that you might want to keep in mind.

23) and ample sediment supply!!!

24) NY, VT and MA

25) How bout a new paragraph and a strong topic sentence.

26) I am not sure but do you need to go more in detail of the coring

methods? or field methods?

27) Not sure if you need thisit takes up oodles of space and you dont

really discuss what you do on the lake.

28) "Dark colors represent gyttja while light-colors represent inorganic

terrestrial sediment." Which reminds me, you should mention somewhere

that terrestrial sediment = inorganic sediment, because one could infer

that terrestrial sediment might be dead logs and leaves which is counter

intuitive of inorganic sediment.

29) What is the varietytell us more specifics or at least a name of the

software

30) Why, because more logs and stuff are coming in with all the sediment?

31) What is a strategic location? Is that Russia, or maybe Midway? Didnt

we already lose many American lives at the Battle of Midway?

32) Why? Do macros sink into the muck or is there another reason like you

just have to sample probably 200 years of muck to get enough stuff to

date?

33) Finally I think you should mention the problems that have arrived with

Emerald Lake and the neat twists that Echo Lake is providing.

Anders proposes to core a set of lakes in Vermont, Massachusetts, and New York in order to identify inorganic sediment layers corresponding to periods of increased hillslope erosion in the valleys that drain into the lakes. Anders will use a set of techniques to distinguish the inorganic sediment layers from the organic material that dominates the lake sediments.

The majority of Anders proposal is well written and succinct, however it is clear that the sections Significance of Research and Preliminary Results and Expected Outcomes need some additional work. The Abstract, Introduction, Research Plan, and Analytical Techniques are clearly written and detailed with evidence, techniques, and previous research proven by others. If Anders can improve the Significance and Preliminary to the level of the other sections than his proposal should have no trouble being accepted by the geology faculty.

Specific Comments:

1) How about: Assessing the temporal and spatial coherence of Holocene storms in the Northeastern US using terrestrial sediment record preserved in post-glacial lakes. Or, Assessing change in local sedimentation rates in Northeastern US postglacial ponds for comparison with regional and global variability in Holocene climate.

2) Dead plants create gyttja, right? Primary production reflects the amount of live plants and photosynthesis, doesn't it?

3) If they are 'hydrologically sensitive' than will there be a tendency for smaller events to trigger erosion an possible make identifying regional events harder?

4) Depth of water in basin? depth of water in pond?

5) This part would be strengthened with a further explanation of how you are going to asses regional patterns of climate change this may be difficult to do before you collect your data.

6) Will this necessarily show periods of increased rainfall? What about an increase in more intense storms? In this case the rainfall intensity would increase but the total rainfall could remain the same, how are you going to tell the difference?