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Alan Wilson

Year: 2008
Nickname: ROTC, Emmett's brother
Position: Not a handler
Things he's good at: Killing people
Things he's bad at: Communicating and touching girls appropriately
Interests: Ultimate,dance parties and Urban counter-insurgency (in particular the cases of the France in the city of Algiers during the Algerian War of Independence from 1958-1962 and Russia in the city of Grozny during the Chechen Wars from 1994 to the present)
Life Goal: To obtain a glowing facial tan from the light of the computer monitor in my cubicle at a shitty corporate job where the janitor has higher morale than I do, while I struggle to maintain a failing marriage to a chain-smoking woman who will wipe me clean in divorce even though I'm the only man in my crappy apartment building whom she hasn't had sex with in the past two years and try to reestablish some sort of relationship with my two
estranged teenage kids from my first marriage whose mother refuses to let me see.