Round One:
"Ladies and gentlemen, here is my plan. As you all know, Microsoft is the largest and wealthiest corporation in America. My plan is as such: we will blackmail Bill Gates by threatening to reveal to the United States government that Microsoft's combination of its internet browser and Windows system constitutes a monopoly, and is thus illegal. After a lengthy trial, the government will break up Microsoft, potentially crippling the corporation. That is, unless Bill Gates pays us...a king's ransom?"

"Dr. Evil, do you ever watch the news?"

"I fail to see your so-called point, Number Two."

After showing Dr. Evil the flaw in his plan, the evil organization quickly comes up with a plan to destroy a random major city. By an astounding coincidence, they choose The City. Dr. Evil dispatches an evil bomber, but he is soon stopped by that tender bosom of justice, the Tick. Round One goes to the Tick.

Round Two:
Enraged at his failure, Dr. Evil travels to The City with an armed entourage to investigate the matter. They quickly find the Tick performing his own investigation on the bombings. The two cross paths, leading to a battle. Dr. Evil's thugs are quickly dispatched by the mighty muscles of goodness that make up the Tick's strength. Gritting his teeth, Dr. Evil sneaks up behind the Tick and zaps him with a pocket-sized device sending out high voltages of electricity with the goal of inducing unconsciousness in its victims, or, as Dr. Evil lovingly refers to it, a "taser." Round Two goes to Dr. Evil.

Round Three:
Having captured the Tick, Dr. Evil places our great gallavanting goliath into a highly complex and easily escapable death trap. As usual, Scott protests. "But dad, why not just atomize him like you did to the last guy?"

"No no no Scott. We did it your way last time. this time, it's my way or no way mister."

"But my way worked!"

"Shut up Scott."