Vegeta versus Wolverine

The Fighters:
A lot of people seem to have been waiting for this fight, since I've received multiple emails asking for me to put it up. It also generated 42 votes on my poll -- the most I've ever received -- and started a ridiculous little thread on the poll about whether or not it's okay to get beaten up by a girl. Anyway, now's when I decide to shit all over everyone's expectations with my own version of this battle. In one corner we have Vegeta, the super powered saiyan from Dragonball Z. In the other we have Wolverine, one of the most popular comic book characters of all time. Initially introduced as a foe of the Incredible Hulk, Wolverine's popularity has skyrocketed to insane levels to the point where he is almost unbeatable in the realm of comic books. But that realm does not necessarily extend to this page...
Talk of the Tape:
Vegeta: "If you hit me in the face, I'll take you to the amusement park."
Wolverine: "An adamantium skeleton protects your bones fine...but it doesn't do a thing for your guts!"

Round One:
We'll use Vegeta at his lowest power level for this fight, since a super saiyan would be way out of Wolverine's league (not that someone who can destroy planets isn't). At any rate, the two meet at a bar and end up breaking into a scuffle when they start bragging and Wolverine ends up insulting Vegeta's penis size. Vegeta powers up, knocking Wolverine back and destroying the bar. Protected by his adamantium skeleton, Wolverine leaps into the fray as Vegeta gets ready to fight, only to find out that he can't hit the saiyan. vegeta moves with blinding speed, constantly berating Wolverine's warrior spirit and his fighting power. Finally, Vegeta slows down to get a reading of Logan's power level off of his scouter. Wolverine responds by lashing out with his adamantium claws, scratching Vegeta's face. The prince jerks back, rubs a thin trail of blood of of his face, and looks into Wolverine's eyes.

"That one was free, my friend..."

Yes, Wolverine has fallen victim to Vegeta's prideful habit of allowing his opponent one hit on him before he unleashes his full power. Round One goes to Vegeta.

Round Two:
Wolverine takes a martial arts stance, preparing himself to lash out when the saiyan prince leaves him an opening, only to discover that Vegeta moves so fast as to be almost invisible. Wolverine finds himself pummeled into a corner by lightning strikes that leave him dazed and battered. Surviving only through his admantium laced skeleton and his superhuman healing ability, the hairy little runt is all but flattened by the prince of all saiyans. In a last ditch of effort, Wolverine strikes with his claws, hoping to anticipate Vegeta's moves. Unfortunately, the ultra powerful saiyan prince grabs Wolverine's arm by the wrist, and uses a simple energy blast to vaporize it. Wolverine is left with a melted metal stub of an arm, as Vegeta prepares for his final blast... Round Two goes to Vegeta.

Round Three:
Remember how I mentioned that stupid little conversation that took place on the poll's comments? Well here's where I get my vengeance for being forced to witness such a petty and pathetic conversation, let alone having to leave the material on this site for so long.

Just as Wolverine is about to be disintegrated, the world seems to hit a pause. Suddenly, both Vegeta and Wolverine scream in mutual agony as their world comes apart, the very fabric of their universe being torn through the middle as though it were merely a piece of paper.

Oh wait, it is a piece of paper! Since Vegeta and Wolverine are both comic book characters, they do not exist in reality and therefore only function as parts of a story. As it turns out, an eight-year old girl has decided that she doesn't like this story and has torn it up, kicking both of their asses. She goes off to watch an episode of Care Bears, leaving the rest of us to try and get a grip on reality. Neither Wolverine nor Vegeta wins Round Three. Since Vegeta has two rounds to Wolverine's zero, he wins the fight. Remember what I said about shitting on everyone's expectations?

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