Round One:
The fight begins on a desolate plain somewhere in Akira Toriyama's version of Earth that he presents in DBZ. Vegeta and Sean Connery, after wandering into a bar and having a boasting contest, have decided to take their quarrel outside. The fight begins with Vegeta smirking his half-smile and ranting about how he is the most powerful warrior in all of the universe, never mind that Kakarotto person, he's just a pussy and he let him win all those times. Meanwhile, Sean Connery rants about how many women that he's had sex with, how many of them could have been his daughter or even grand daughter (and I get horrific flashbacks to Entrapment), and about how much Alex Trebeck sucks (you'll get the joke if you've seen Saturday Nigh Live's "Celebrity Jeopardy"). The ego stroking goes on for hours until Sean Connery finally gets bored and begins to walk away. Furious that his foe would turn his back to the prince of all saiyans, Vegeta begins powering up. A mountain crumbles, debris flies up, lighting strikes all about Vegeta, and Sean Connery shits himself. Round One goes to Vegeta.

Round Two:
Connery, furious that he has been disgraced, charges in to fight with Vegeta, utilizing all of the training that he received as an actor in those million fucking Bond flicks (sorry for the gratuitous profanity, but I need to emphasize how much I dislike the old Bond films) and the millions of action movies since. Unfortunately for Connery, all of his moves were learned for films, whereas Vegeta grew up fighting to the death with all sorts of alien baddies. The saiyan prince moves with such blurring speed that once Connery throws a punch, he seems to disappear. Finally, Connery gets pissed and screams that he is Juan Sanchez Lobos Lobos Ramirez (a reference to Highlander, for those who have missed it) and that he will not allow such dishonor to occur. Vegeta calmly waits while Connery spouts out the incredibly long name. Connery, thinking that he's caught Vegeta off guard, hits him in the face. Vegeta grunts and wipes a miniscule trail of blood, and then grins, going off on his usual "The first one's free, and you hit like a girl" rant that he gives all of the victims that he toys with. Round Two goes to Vegeta.

Round Three:
Vegeta makes his attack...

Now, to break from traditional DBZ storytelling, I think I'll describe the attack in less the three thirty minute episodes. I need something as succinct and telling as possible...

Hmmm...

Sean Connery hears Vegeta yell out his "Final Flash!" just before the world goes white. Vegeta blows a whole clear through the Earth and leaves in his saiyan vessel for more comfortable climes as the planet once again falls to rubble as a result of one of my fights.

Yeah, that'll work...god I'm tired...